《The Willpower Instinct》是一本由Kelly McGonigal著作，Avery出版的Hardcover图书，本书定价：USD 26.00，页数：272，文章吧小编精心整理的一些读者的读后感，希望对大家能有帮助。
《The Willpower Instinct》读后感(一)：好书好书
重要清单就是这些。别人已经总结过了
https://book.douban.com/review/6371871/、
对我而言比较的有的意义的就是这本书是从内因来分析的，让的我们从内向外的了解了自制力是什么。
1、冥想 2、健康饮食（低GI、素食为主，未加工食物为主）.低GI食物使血糖稳定（蛋白、麦片、粗纤谷类、豆类、水果蔬菜）；选择健康零食（如小袋坚果）；拒绝垃圾食品 3、深呼吸 （每分钟4-6次） 4、锻炼（有意或无意） 5、充足的睡眠、早睡早起 6、保持血糖稳定，但避免一次性摄入过多糖分 7、意志力告急时，想一想你的长远目标 8、 记住长远目标，忘记借口。不要问“今天我取得了多少进步”，而要问自己“你的目标有多坚定”？ 9、 好的解压方法：锻炼、阅读、听音乐、冥想或做yoga、散步、唱歌、有创意的爱好——写作 10、原谅自己的一时放纵，不要过于苛刻。自我原谅者比自我苛责者更容易自控。 11、做乐观的悲观主义者。保持平静和愉快。 12、“等待10分钟”意志力训练：之后你可以拥有诱惑，但之前要想一想（你真的需要它吗？） 13、看到别人失控时，多想一想自己的目标 14、找到一群有共同目标的人，加入他们。 15、自豪感。为做到了别人做不到的事而感到骄傲。 16、忠于你的感受并试着表达它们 17、直面自身欲望，但不要付诸行动 18、转换叙述方式，变“我不要”为“我想要”
《The Willpower Instinct》读后感(二)：这是一本心理辅导方面很好的书
按章节顺序，第三章作者Kelly McGonigal 先讲了自我控制失败的例子，也就是自我控制力像肌肉，时间长了会累，需要适当的放松，懂得节制才能长久的道理。
然后，讲了自我节制的三个陷阱，第四、五、六章的内容。分别是：做了好人会给你借口去做一个坏人；把wanting当做happiness，也就是心理想要的不一定能带来真正的快乐；不好的情绪会导致更容易放弃自我约束，寻找一个自我麻醉式的放纵解脱。
讲完问题，接下来就是给一些好的解决办法。Kelly McGonigal 提了三方面，分别是书的第七、八、九章。让未来折现的价值更高，也就是先把未来当做一个很值得期待的内容，以对抗现在的诱惑；通过社交途径，让榜样影响你，让公开自己的计划督促你；接受生活的现状是改善的最佳途径，你越拒绝越危险。
《The Willpower Instinct》读后感(三)：放过自己
这是读完的第四本原版书，断断续续读了很久，没kindle之前在手机上看到50%，后来放下了开始读iwoz，kindle到手继续把后面的读完了，现在想来前面读的也忘的差不多了，其实内容部分就80%，后面的都是相关名词出处和索引。
这本书不像其他的励志书那样，让你突然能量慢慢不顾方法去做你要做的事，而是给你理清情绪机制，很认同书中讲的几种情绪，自己前段时间读的用在自己身上，对我很深刻和最有用的一条是，当自己没完成自己订的任务时，不要责骂自己，而是让自己放松，相信任何人都有我们这样的问题，都是这么走过来的，放松心态不要气馁，继续去完成没有完成的事情，不要停下前进的脚步。
书的后半部分“ironic rebound”自己读的迷迷糊糊的，没有弄懂，只是大体有自己的理解，我觉着同样的是在强调我上段说提出的不要责怪自己的延续，有时候我们越压迫自己越难完成，越节食减肥越胖，越戒烟复吸之后吸得越多。
整书我的理解最重要的一点：放过自己，不要给自己太多的压力，当失败时放过自己，不要让自己有厌己情绪，整理计划继续前行，每个人都不是那么容易的控制自己，相信自己其实做的已经不错了，就是在这样反复失败再尝试的过程中，相信自己会越走越远，越走越好，不要停止向前的脚步，不要对自己失去信心。
《The Willpower Instinct》读后感(四)：自控力。
终于看完了这本书，15号看完村上的当我说跑步时我在谈什么，到25号截至。平均每天2个小时，这两天因为觉得这书看得时间太长加快速度每天读大概超过4个小时。
一共有11章，去掉序言，以及最终回，全书大概500来页。
开篇第一句话就震着我了。The intelligent want self-control, children want candy. 其实作者骂人还是挺含蓄的。
第一章，讲了讲Self-control的三个方面：我应该，我不能，我想要。然后就是分析人脑的形成，每人体内都有两个自我等等。提到了一个Experiment：一个五分钟的打坐，以锻炼大脑。老实坐着，闭眼睛，专注于自我的呼吸。当你吸气、呼气时关注于你身体的感受。
第二章，介绍了两种机能：fight-or-flight和pause-and-plan。第一种远古得来，帮你抵抗明显的危险。第二种是需要你慢慢培养的。这时又讲了第二个实验，Breathe your way to Self-control，当你做决定的时候，放慢呼吸，将其降至每分钟6次。或者走出室内，感受外界的自然环境。睡觉。抑或是让你的意志力暂时休息一下。
第三章，讲述意志力就像肌肉一样，越练越强，不练就没，练多了还会酸痛。介绍了第三个实验，通过各种不同的方式去锻炼你意志力的三个方面，比如不抱怨去锻炼我不能，每天喝八杯水锻炼我应该等等。
前面的练习让你有点意志力了，然后你就开始放纵，想着我干了啥啥啥，可以让我今天干啥啥啥了。所以就有了第四章，从圣徒到罪犯，人啊，不能对自己太客气！！
第五章讲了讲Dopamine的作用。一方面，让你觉得你很快乐其实你并不是真正的快乐，这就对你意志力有副作用。另一方面，你可以利用他让你觉得快乐而使自己能够干些自己想要干的。
第四章说了不要对自己太客气，但是也不能对自己太不客气。所以，第六章就告诉我们说，自我感觉不良会让人越来越垃圾。所以我们要时常关注于自己的感受，告诉自己只是一般人，犯错在所难免。
好吧，因为不能太责备现在的自己，咱又很容易把任务推给未来的自己。研究所，人们总是对待陌生人一样对待未来的自己，这样是不对的。未来的自己，也是自己。所以就应该让未来的自己跟现在的自己建立联系，比如想象自己未来的生活，给未来的自己一封信等等。这就是第七章说的。
到了第八章，开始关注于周围的人了。科学家都说好习惯、坏习惯都是会传染的。所以，近朱者赤、近墨者黑。咱老祖宗还是挺牛的，老早就知道这事啦。
正文的最后一张，“不能够”的限制。你告诉自己这不能，那不能；后果就是你越说不能，你自己就越想，最后你总是向自己妥协。所以，当你想干你不能干的想法出现时，就让他出来。想，并不代表做。接受自己的想法，但是不对的不能够做。
………………………………………………………………………………
没了，书里写了很多例子，很多实验以及如何研究自己。挺好的。这书应该跟她那个课一起配套用。
《The Willpower Instinct》读后感(五)：willpower不应该翻译为意志力。
willpower 不应该被翻译为意志力，因为本书介绍的“意志力”方法十分符合人的情绪机制。基本上没有传统意义上那种卧薪尝胆，又或者悬梁刺股的体验。相反，我们中国传统意义上对意志力的定义显然不科学。
Accept yourself. Accept others. No one can be perfect.
因为不能达到理想预期而去怪罪自己或者他人，只会让自己更加挫败。相反，应该鼓励自己，鼓励别人。接受“人无完人”是很自然的。
以下是一些摘录：
ONE - I Will, I Won’t, I Want: What Willpower Is, and Why It Matters
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The third region, just a bit lower and in the middle of the prefrontal cortex, keeps track of your goals and your desires. It decides what you want. The more rapidly its cells fire, the more motivated you are to take action or resist temptation. This part of the prefrontal cortex remembers what you really want, even when the rest of your brain is screaming, “Eat that! Drink that! Smoke that! Buy that!”
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the self-control system and our survival instincts don’t always conflict. In some cases, they cooperate to help us make good decisions
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That instinctive shock is going to make the job easy for your prefrontal cortex, and you’ll barely need to exert any “I won’t” powe
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We also possess self-awareness: the ability to realize what we are doing as we do it, and understand why we are doing it.
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You need to recognize when you’re making a choice that requires willpower; otherwise, the brain always defaults to what is easiest.
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most of our choices are made on autopilot, without any real awareness of what’s driving them,
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most of the time, we don’t even realize we’re making a choice.
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How can you control yourself if you aren’t even aware that there is something to control？
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eople who are distracted are more likely to give in to temptations.
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To have more self-control, you first need to develop more self-awareness. A good first step is to notice when you are making choices related to your willpower challenge.
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the brain is remarkably responsive to experience. Ask your brain to do math every day, and it gets better at math. Ask your brain to worry, and it gets better at worrying. Ask your brain to concentrate, and it gets better at concentrating.
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meditate, it gets better not just at meditating, but at a wide range of self-control skills, including attention, focus, stress management, impulse control, and self-awareness.
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this five-minute meditation is a powerful brain-training exercise for boosting your willpower.
Here’s how to get started:
1. Sit still and stay put .
it in a chair with your feet flat on the ground, or
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it cross-legged on a cushion. Sit up straight and rest your hands in your lap. It’s important not to fidget when you meditate
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If you notice the instinct to scratch an itch, adjust your arms, or cross and uncross your legs, see if you can feel the urge but not follow it.
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willpower training effective. You’re learning not to automatically follow every single impulse that your brain and body produce.
2. Turn your attention to the breath.
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when you notice yourself thinking about something else, bring your attention back to the breath.
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Willpower is actually three powers—I will, I won’t, and I want—that help us to be a better version of ourselves.
TWO - The Willpower Instinct: Your Body Was Born to Resist Cheesecake
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amygdala, which functions as your own personal alarm system. This alarm system sits in the middle of your brain and lives to detect possible emergencies.
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When it notices a threat, its central location makes it easy to get the message
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ut self-control points the mirror back at ourselves, and our inner worlds of thoughts, desires, emotions, and impulse
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What is the thought or feeling that makes you want to do whatever it is you don’t want to do？ If you aren’t sure, try some field observation.
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fight-or-flight stress response starts when you recognize an external threa
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The pause-and-plan response differs in one very crucial way: It starts with the perception of an internal conflict, not an external threat
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The perception of an internal conflict triggers changes in the brain and body that help you slow down and control your impulses.
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This self-monitoring system is distributed throughout the brain, connecting the self-control regions of the prefrontal cortex with areas of the brain that keep track of your body sensations, thoughts, and emotions.
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The self-monitoring system is just waiting to detect warning sign
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When your brain recognizes such a warning, our good friend the prefrontal cortex jumps into action to help you make the right choice
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The pause-and-plan response drives you in the opposite direction of the fight-or-flight response. Instead of speeding up, your heart slows down, and your blood pressure stays norm
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Just little variations. Your heart speeds up a bit when you inhale: buh-dum buh-dum buh-dum. It slows down again when you exhale
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the sympathetic nervous system, which revs the body into action, and the parasympathetic nervous system, which promotes relaxation and healing in the body.
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eople with higher heart rate variability are better at ignoring distractions, delaying gratification, and dealing with stressful situations
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If you have high heart rate variability, you have more willpower available for whenever temptation strikes.
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anger, depression, and loneliness are all associated with lower heart rate variability and less self-control.
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Chronic pain and illness can also drain your body and brain’s willpower reserv
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The focus meditation you learned in the last chapter is one of the easiest and most effective ways to improve the biological basis of willpower. It not only trains the brain, but also increases heart rate variability. Anything else that you do to reduce stress and take care of your health—exercise, get a good night’s sleep, eat better, spend quality time with friends and family, participate in a religious or spiritual practice—will improve your body’s willpower reserve.
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there is one way to immediately boost willpower: Slow your breathing down to four to six breaths per minute. That’s ten to fifteen seconds per b
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lowing the breath down activates the prefrontal cortex and increases heart rate variability, which helps shift the brain and body from a state of stress to self-control mode. A few minutes of this technique will make you feel calm, in control, and capable of handling cravings or challenges.4
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will only increase stress). For most people, it’s easier to slow down the exhalation, so focus on exhali
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One study found that a daily twenty-minute practice of slowed breathing increased heart rate variability and reduced cravings and depression among adults recovering from substance abuse and post-traumatic stress disorder.
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and efficiently with each other. Physical exercise—like meditation—makes your brain bigger and faster, and the prefrontal cortex shows the largest training effect.
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answer no to the following two questions: 1. Are you sitting, standing still, or lying down？ 2. Are you eating junk food while you do it？ When you have found an activity that meets this definition, congratulations! You have found your willpower workout.5 A
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green exercise” decreases stress, improves mood, enhances focus, and boosts self-control. Green exercise is any physical activity that gets you outdoors and in the presence of Mama Nature.
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Lower-intensity exercise, like walking, has stronger immediate effects than high-intensity exercise.
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Get out of the office and head for the closest greenery.
• Cue up a favorite song on your iPod and walk or jog around the block.
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• Take your dog outside to play (and chase the toy yourself).
• Do a bit of work in your yard or garden.
• Step outside for some fresh air and do a few simple stretches.
• Challenge your kids to a race or game in the backyard.
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He started to see exercise as a secret weapon, something that could keep him at the top of his game. It didn’t hurt that it would improve heart rate variability,
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eing mildly but chronically sleep deprived makes you more susceptible to stress, cravings, and temptation.
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It also makes it more difficult to control your emotions, focus your attention, or find the energy to tackle the big “I will” power challenge
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When you’re tired, your cells have trouble absorbing glucose from the bloodstream.
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In a crunch, taking a short nap can restore focus and self-control even if you didn’t get much sleep the night before. Try one of these
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elf-control also demands high levels of energy, some scientists speculate that chronic self-control—like chronic stress—can increase your chances of getting sick by diverting resources from the immune system.
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We need time to recover from the exertion of self-control,
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reserve both your health and happiness, you need to give up the pursuit of willpower perfection.
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recover from stress and the daily self-control demands of your life is relaxation
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tress is the enemy of willpower. So often we believe that stress is the only way to get things done, and we even look for ways to increase stress—such as waiting until the last minute, or criticizing ourselves for being lazy or out of control—to motivate ourselves. Or we use stress to try to motivate others, turning up the heat at work or coming down hard at home. This may seem to work in the short term, but in the long term, nothing drains willpower faster than stress. T
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The fight-or-flight response floods the body with energy to act instinctively, and steals it from the areas of the brain needed for wise decision making. The pause-and-plan response sends that energy to the brain—and not just anywhere in the brain, but specifically to the self-control center, the prefrontal cortex.
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tress encourages you to focus on immediate, short-term goals and outcomes, but self-control requires keeping the big picture in min
THREE - Too Tired to Resist: Why Self-Control Is Like a Muscle
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Researchers have found that self-control is highest in the morning and steadily deteriorates over the course of the da
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elf-control is like a muscl
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willpower is a limited resource
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euroscientists have found that with each use of willpower, the self-control system of the brain becomes less active.
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Eating a candy bar or drinking soda can be an act of self-control! (Or at least restoring self-control.)
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actual amount of energy your brain needs to exert self-control is less than half a Tic Tac per minute. T
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too. The human brain has, at any given time, a very small supply of energy. It can store some energy in its cells, but it is mostly dependent on a steady stream of glucose circulating in the body’s bloodstream.
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When the brain detects a drop in available energy, it gets a little nervous.
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may decide to stop spending and save what resources it has. It will keep itself on a tight energy budget, unwilling to spend its full supply of energy
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They argue that the brain treats energy like money. It will spend energy when resources are high, but save energy when resources are droppi
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Our brains evolved in an environment very different from our own—one in which food supplies were unpredictable. (R
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ut when your blood sugar drops, your brain will still favor short-term thinking and impulsive behavior. Y
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keep your blood sugar steady. Low-glycemic foods include lean proteins, nuts and beans, high-fiber grains and cereals, and most fruits and vegetables—basically, food that looks like its natural state and doesn’t have a ton of added sugar, fat, and chemicals.
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trengthen “I Won’t” Power: Commit to not swearing (or refraining from any habit of speech), not crossing your legs when you sit, or using your nondominant hand for a daily task like eating or opening doors.
• Strengthen “I Will” Power: Commit to doing something every day (not something you already do) just for the practice of building a habit and not
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making excuses. It could be calling your mother, meditating for five minutes, or finding one thing in your house that needs to be thrown out or recycled.
• Strengthen Self-Monitoring: Formally keep track of something you don’t usually pay close attention to. This
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could be your spending, what you eat, or how much time you spend online or watching TV. You don’t need fancy technology—pencil and paper will do. But if you need some inspiration, the Quantified Self movement (www.quantifiedself.com) has turned self-tracking into an art and science.
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hysical exhaustion was a trick played on the body by the mind
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Fatigue should no longer be considered a physical event but rather a sensation or emotion
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we often feel depleted of willpower before we actually are
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This doesn’t mean we’re out of willpower; we just need to muster up the motivation to use it.
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The next time you find yourself “too tired” to exert self-control, challenge yourself to go beyond that first feeling of fatigue.
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When you find your biggest want power—the thing that gives you strength when you feel weak—bring it to mind whenever you find yourself most tempted to give in or give u
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We cannot control everything, and yet the only way to increase our self-control is to stretch our limits. Like a muscle
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elf-control is like a muscle. It gets tired from use, but regular exercise makes it stronger.
FOUR - License to Sin: Why Being Good Gives Us Permission to Be Bad
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When you feel like a saint, the idea of self-indulgence doesn’t feel wrong. It feels right. Like you earned it. A
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otice if giving yourself credit for positive action makes you forget what your actual goal is.
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rogress can be motivating, and even inspire future self-control, but only if you view your actions as evidence that you are committed to your go
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. In other words, you need to look at what you have done and conclude that you must really care about your goal, so much so that you want to do even more to reach it.
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More typically, we look for the reason to stop.
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aving money—are asked, “How much progress do you feel you have made on your goal？” they are more likely to then do something that conflicts with that goal,
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In contrast, people who are asked, “How committed do you feel to your goal？” are not tempted by the conflicting behavio
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when they also asked the participants to remember why they had resisted, the licensing effect disappeared—69 percent resisted temptation.
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The next time you find yourself using past good behavior to justify indulging, pause and remember the why.
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We just as easily look into the future, and credit ourselves with our planned virtuous behavior. For example, people who merely intend to exercise later are more likely to overeat at dinner. T
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ometimes the mind gets so excited about the opportunity to act on a goal, it mistakes that opportunity with the satisfaction of having actually accomplished the goa
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ut to how easy it will be to do what we say we will do.
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We look into the future and fail to see the challenges of today. This convinces us that we will have more time and energy to do in the future what we don’t want to do today. We feel justified in putting it off, confident that our future behavior will more than make up for it.
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When you want to change a behavior, aim to reduce the variability in your behavior, not the behavior itself
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Do I want to eat this candy bar now？” ask yourself, “Do I want the consequences of eating a candy bar every afternoon for the next year
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“Would I rather do this today or tomorrow？” ask yourself, “Do I really want the consequences of always putting this off？”
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he would use whatever he ate at breakfast to determine whether this would be a “good day” or a “bad day”—if he ate a bacon-and-egg sandwich for breakfast, it was going to be a bad day, which meant he was free to eat meat at lunch and dinner, too. Tomorrow (he told himself) would be a good day from start to finish.
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We only reward ourselves for good behavior if we believe that who we really are is the self that wants to be bad. From this point of view, every act of self-control is a punishment, and only self-indulgence is a reward. But why must we see ourselves this way？ Moving beyond the traps of moral licensing requires knowing that who we are is the self that wants the best for us—and the self that wants to live in line with our core values. When this happens, we will no longer view the impulsive, lazy, or easily tempted self as the “real” us. We will no longer act like someone who must be bribed, tricked, or forced to pursue our goals, and then rewarded for making any effort at all.
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which part of you feels more like the “real” you—the part of you who wants to pursue the goal, or the part of you who needs to be controlled？
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Thinking in terms of “right” and “wrong” instead of remembering what we really want will trigger competing impulses and license self-sabotaging behavior.
FIVE - The Brain’s Big Lie: Why We Mistake Wanting for Happiness
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the stimulation itself never brought satisfactio
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Our whole world is full of stimuli—from restaurant menus and catalogs to lottery tickets and television ads—that can turn us into the human version of Olds and Milner’s rat chasing the promise of happiness.
2014-02-14
When the brain recognizes an opportunity for reward, it releases a neurotransmitter called dopamine. Dopamine tells the rest of the brain what to pay attention to and what to get our greedy little hands on. A dopamine rush doesn’t create happiness itself—the feeling is more like arousal. We feel alert, awake, and captivated. We recognize the possibility of feeling good and are willing to work for that feelin
2014-02-14
dopamine is for action, not happiness.
2014-02-14
What unleashes that promise of reward that compels you to seek satisfaction？
2014-02-15
ut take a bite of the store’s new cinnamon strudel, and you may find yourself with a few more items in your cart than you planned. And even if you resist the temptation of the sample, your brain—hopped up on dopamine—will be looking for something to satisfy the promise of reward.
2014-02-15
usinesses also use smells to manufacture desire where none existed. An appetizing odor is one of the fastest ways to trigger the promise of reward, and as soon as the scented molecules land on your olfactory receptors, the brain will begin searching for the source. The next time you walk by a fast-food restaurant and are tempted by the smell of french fries and burgers,
2014-02-15
atients who pass their drug tests win the opportunity to draw a slip of paper out of a bowl. About half of these slips have a prize listed on them, ranging in value from $1 to $20. Only one slip has a big prize, worth $100. Half of the slips have no prize value at all
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Our reward system gets much more excited about a possible big win than a guaranteed smaller reward, and it will motivate us to do whatever provides the chance to win
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This is why people would rather play the lottery than earn a guaranteed 2 percent interest in a savings account, and why even the lowest employee in a company should be made to believe he could someday be the CEO.
2014-02-15
dopamine’s primary function is to make us pursue happiness, not to make us happ
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the reward system actually has two weapons: a carrot and a stick.
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desire—the carrot that makes the horse run forward. B
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The result: You feel anxious as you anticipate your object of desire.
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. The potato chip junkie eyes the bag of chips with newfound suspicion, and the late-night TV addict turns the tube off. Bu
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when overeaters slow down and really experience a food that usually triggers cravings and bingeing, they typically notice that the food looks and smells better than it tastes;
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the research shows that people who practice this mindful-eating exercise develop greater self-control around food and have fewer episodes of binge-eating.
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when they really pay attention to the experience of indulging, they need far less than they thought they would to feel satisfied. Others find that the experience is completely unsatisfying, revealing a huge gap between the promise of reward and the reality of their experience.
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It’s why many Parkinson’s patients—whose brains aren’t producing enough dopamine—are depressed, not peaceful.
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The promise of reward doesn’t guarantee happiness, but no promise of reward guarantees unhappines
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we are to have any self-control, we need to separate the real rewards that give our lives meaning from the false rewards that keep us distracted and addicted.
2014-02-15
When dopamine points us to temptation, we must distinguish wanting from happiness.
IX - What the Hell: How Feeling Bad Leads to Giving In
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The stress hormones released during a fight-or-flight response also increase the excitability of your dopamine neurons.
2014-02-15
under stress, any temptations you run into will be even more tempting. For example, one
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even as a smoker’s brain encodes the words “WARNING: Cigarettes cause cancer” and grapples with awareness of his own mortality, another part of his brain starts screaming, “Don’t worry, smoking a cigarette will make you feel better!”
2014-02-15
According to terror-management theory, the more horrifying the images, the more they will prompt smokers to relieve their anxiety by smoking.
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the what-the-hell effect describes a cycle of indulgence, regret, and greater indulgence. T
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Instead of minimizing the harm by not taking another bite, they would say, “What the hell, I already blew my diet. I might as well eat the whole thing.”
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“I’ve already broken my [diet, budget, sobriety, resolution], so what the hell. I might as well really enjoy myself.” Cr
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after all, we first learned to control ourselves as children through parental commands and punishment. This approach is necessary during childhood because, let’s face it, children are wild animals. The brain’s self-control system does not fully develop until young adulthood, and kids need some external support while their prefrontal cortices fill out. However, many people treat themselves like they are still children—and frankly, they act more like abusive parents than supportive caregivers. They criticize themselves whenever they give in to temptation or fail in their own eyes: “You’re so lazy! What’s the matter with you？” Each failure is used as evidence that they need to be even stricter with themselves. “You can’t be trusted to do anything you say you will.”
2014-02-15
tudy after study shows that self-criticism is consistently associated with less motivation and worse self-control
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In contrast, self-compassion—being supportive and kind to yourself, especially in the face of stress and failure—is associated with more motivation and better self-control
2014-02-15
tudents who were harder on themselves for procrastinating on their first exam were more likely to procrastinate on later exams than students who forgave themselve
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Forgiveness—not guilt—helped them get back on trac
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1. What are you feeling？ As you think about this failure, take a moment to notice and describe how you are feeling. What emotions are present？ What are you are feeling in your body？ Can you remember how you felt immediately after the failure？ How would you describe that？ Notice if self-criticism comes up, and if it does, what you say to yourself. The perspective of mindfulness allows you to see what you are feeling without rushing to escape.
2. You’re only human. Everyone struggles with willpower challenges and everyone sometimes loses control. This is just a part of the human condition, and your setback does not mean there is something wrong with you. Consider the truth of these statements. Can you think of other people you respect and care about who have experienced similar struggles and setbacks？ This perspective can soften the usual voice of self-criticism and self-doubt.
3. What would you say to a friend？ Consider how you would comfort a close friend who experienced the same setback. What words of support would you offer？ How would you encourage them
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continue pursuing their goal？ This perspective will point the way to getting back on track.
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He took comfort in the idea that his setbacks were just part of being human, and not proof that he would never succeed.
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We all have the tendency to believe self-doubt and self-criticism, but listening to this voice never gets us closer to our goals. Instead, try on the point of view of a mentor or good friend who believes in you, wants the best for you, and will encourag e you when you feel discouraged.
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we are most likely to decide to change when we are at a low point: f
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etting a resolution offers an immediate sense of relief and control.
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As we face our first setbacks, the initial feel-good rush of deciding to change is replaced with disappointment and frustration. Failing to meet our expectations triggers the same old guilt, depression, and self-doubt, and the emotional payoff of vowing to change is gone. At this point, most people will abandon their efforts altogether. It’s only when we are feeling out of control and in need of another hit of hope that we’ll once again vow to change—and start the cycle all over.
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was never meant to be a strategy for change. It’s a strategy for feeling better, and
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we must avoid the common trap of using the promise of change to fix our feelings, not to fix our behaviors. Otherwise, we can turn what looks like willpower into just another version of a rat pressing a lever, hoping this is the time we get the reward.
EVEN - Putting the Future on Sale: The Economics of Instant Gratification
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humans are the only species to think in any meaningful way about the future.
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delay discounting—the longer you have to wait for a reward, the less it is worth to you. Even small delays can dramatically lower the perceived value.
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Anything you can do to create that distance will make it easier to say no. For example, one study found that just putting a candy jar inside a desk drawer instead of on top of the desk reduced office workers’ candy consumption by one third
2014-02-15
For a cooler, wiser brain, institute a mandatory ten-minute wait for any temptation. If, in ten minutes, you still want it, you can have
2014-02-15
ometimes he didn’t even last the full ten minutes before he lit up. But the delay was strengthening his intention to quit.
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When “never again” seems too overwhelming a willpower challenge to tackle, use the ten-minute delay rule to start strengthening your self-control.
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determining people’s discount rates—basically, how much more is your happiness today worth than your happiness tomorrow
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And if the present is more important than the future, there is no reason to delay gratification.
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We must study our tempted selves, see their weaknesses, and find a way to bind them to our rational preferences.
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you can try a product like CapturedDiscipline, a solid-steel safe that can be locked for anywhere from two minutes to ninety-nine hours.
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what can you do to make it easier for your future self to act on your rational preferences？
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website stickk .com to help people precommit their future selves
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we are more likely to save our present selves from anything too stressful, but burden our future selves like we would a stranger.
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waiting for his future fearless self, h
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Why do we treat our future selves like different people？ Part of the problem lies in our inability to access our future selves’ thoughts and feeling
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When reflecting on the future self, the brain’s activation is identical to when it is considering the traits of another person. 25
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Donors who received the Give More Tomorrow request increased their donations 32 percent more than the donors who were asked to Give More Toda
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Create a Future Memory. Neuroscientists at the University Medical Center Hamburg-Eppendorf in Germany have shown that imagining the future helps people delay gratificatio
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2. Send a Message to Your Future Self. The founders of FutureMe.org
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-mail their future selves
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I confess, I can get a little hyperopic myself. When I need to remind myself to indulge, I
EIGHT - Infected! Why Willpower Is Contagious
2014-02-17
ehaviors we typically view as being under self-control are, in important ways, under social control as well.
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research from the fields of psychology, marketing, and medicine reveals that our individual choices are powerfully shaped by what other people think, want, and do—and what we think they want us to do.
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oth bad habits and positive change can spread from person to person like germs
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the human mind is not one unified self, but multiple selves who compete for control.
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There’s the self who wants immediate gratification and the self who remembers your bigger goals. There’s your present self, who may or may not seem to have much in common with your future sel
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eople in conversation start to adopt each other’s positions. One person crosses his arms, and moments later, his conversation partner crosses her arms. She leans back, and soon enough, he leans back, too. This unconscious physical mirroring seems to help people understand each other better, and also creates a sense of connection and rapport
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One reason salespeople, managers, and politicians are trained to intentionally mimic other people’s postures is that they know it will make it easier to influence the person they are mirroring.)
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when you see someone else reach for a snack, a drink, or a credit card, you may find yourself unconsciously mirroring their behavior—and losing your willpower
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The second way our social brains can lead us astray is the contagion of emotion
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Finally, our brains can even catch temptation when we see others give in.
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goal contagion is limited to goals you already, at some level, share.
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A nonsmoker is not going to catch a nicotine craving when a friend pulls out a cigarette.
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ometimes seeing someone else give in to temptation can actually enhance our self-control. When you are firmly committed to a goal (e.g., losing weight), but aware that you have a conflicting goal (e.g., enjoying a deep-dish pizza), seeing someone do something that conflicts with your strongest goal will put your brain on high alert. It will activate your dominant goal even more strongly and start generating strategies to help you stick with it.
2014-02-17
counterac-tive contro
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rule-breaking is contagious. P
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The contagious goal was bigger than the goal to break a specific rule.
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anytime we see someone behaving badly, our own self-control deteriorates
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thinking about someone with good self-control can increase your own willpower.
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ehaviors so contagious within close relationship
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It turns out that when we think about people we love, respect, and feel similar to, our brains treat them more like us than like not us. You can see it in a brain scanner, watching adults think first about themselves, then about their mothers. The brain regions activated by self and mom are almost identical,
2014-02-17
ocial proof. When the rest of our tribe does something, we tend to think it’s a smart thing to do
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The best predictor of whether a student cheats is whether he believes other students cheat, not the severity of penalties or whether he thinks he will be caught.
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The best way to do this is to find the folks who share the behavior you aspire to. Look for a new “tribe” you could join. It could be a support group, a class, a local club, an online community, or even subscribing to a magazine that supports your goals. Surrounding yourself with people who share your commitment to your goals will make it feel like the norm.
2014-02-17
ride and shame rely on the emotional brain, not the logical prefrontal cortex
2014-02-17
We’re telling everyone who sets foot in Chicago, if you solicit a prostitute, you will be arrested. And when you are arrested, people will know. Your spouse, children, friends, neighbors, and employers will know.” Survey research of Chicago men who have paid for sex suggests that this policy works. Having their photo or name printed in the local paper was rated as the strongest deterrent for buying sex (87 percent of the men interviewed said it would make them think twice). This trumped jail time, having their driver’s license suspended, and having to pay a fine of $1,000 or more.28
2014-02-17
As a preventive measure, shame may work. But once the deed is done, shame is more likely to inspire self-sabotage than self-control.
2014-02-17
Anticipatory shame might be able to keep you from walking into the Cheesecake Factory, but when the temptation is in front of you, it has no power over the promise of reward. Once your dopamine neurons are firing, feeling bad intensifies your desire and makes you more likely to give in.
2014-02-17
For pride to work, we need to believe that others are watching, or that we will have the opportunity to report our success to others. Marketing researchers have found that people are much more likely to buy green products in public than in the privacy of online shopping. Buying green is a way to show others how altruistic and thoughtful we are, and we want the social credit for our high-minded purchases.
2014-02-17
Go public with your willpower challenges. If you believe that others are rooting for your success and keeping an eye on your behavior, you’ll be more motivated to do the right thing.
2014-02-17
The imagined eyes of others can be motivating, but if we fail, their imagined scorn can discourage us from showing our face in public again.
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“If shame worked, there’d be no fat people.”
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Research shows that being kicked out of the tribe drains willpower. For
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Anytime we feel excluded or disrespected, we are at greater risk for giving in to our worst impulses.
2014-02-17
Rather than shame people for their willpower failures, we would do far better by offering social support for willpower successes.
2014-02-17
One good example is a weight-loss intervention at the University of Pittsburgh that requires people to enroll with a friend or family member. The participants are given “support homework,” such as sharing a healthy meal during the week and calling each other to check in and encourage each other. An impressive 66 percent of participants in this program had maintained their weight loss at a ten-month follow-up, compared with only 24 percent of participants in a control group who did not join with friends or family.
INE - Don’t Read This Chapter: The Limits of “I Won’t” Power
2014-02-17
Each time, the mere act of trying not to think about something triggered a paradoxical effect: People thought about it more than when they weren’t trying to control their thoughts, and even more than when they were intentionally trying to think about it.
2014-02-17
The job candidate who wants so badly to make a good impression is most likely to blurt out the very thing that makes the interviewer cringe.
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that it has something to do with how the brain handles the command not to think about something. It splits the task into two parts, achieved by two different systems of the brain. One part of your mind will take on the job of directing your attention toward anything other than the forbidden thought. I
2014-02-17
Wegner calls this process the operator. The operator relies on the brain’s system of self-control and—like all forms of effortful self-control—requires a good deal of mental resources and energy. Another part of your mind takes on the job of looking for any evidence that you are thinking, feeling, or doing whatever you don’t want to think, feel, or do. It’s like the young woman obser
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automatic self-control!—
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Let’s say you’re headed to the grocery store, and you’ve decided that you will not be tempted by the snack food aisle. While the operator is trying to focus, plan, and control your behavior (“I’m here at the grocery store to pick up cereal, nothing else. Where’s the cereal aisle？”), the monitor is scanning your mind and your environment for warning signs. (“Danger! Danger! Cookies on aisle three! You love cookies! Is that your stomach growling？ Alert! Alert! Beware of the cookies! Cookies cookies cookies!”) If your mental resources are high, the operator can make good use of the monitor’s hysteria.
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ut if your mental resources are taxed—whether by distractions, fatigue, stress, alcohol, illness, or other mental drains—the operator cannot do its job. The monitor, on the other hand, is like the Energizer Bunny. It keeps going and going and going
2014-02-17
When you try to push a thought away, and it keeps coming back to your mind, you are more likely to assume that it must be true.
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When a thought becomes more frequent and harder to pull yourself away from, you will naturally assume that it is an urgent message that you should pay attention to
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the more you try to push away a thought, the more likely it is to fight its way back into consciousness.
2014-02-17
ecause you are trying not to think about it, its reappearance seems even more meaningful. As a result, you’re more likely to believe it is true. T
2014-02-17
When you stop trying to control unwanted thoughts and emotions, they stop controlling you.
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As we consider the evidence for each, we’ll see that giving up control of our inner experiences gives us greater control over our outer actions.
2014-02-17
tudies show that the more you try to suppress negative thoughts, the more likely you are to become depressed. T
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trying not to think sad thoughts makes them even sadder than when they are trying to feel sad.
2014-02-17
He teaches social anxiety sufferers to observe and accept their thoughts and feelings—even the scary ones. The goal is not to get rid of the anxiety and self-doubt, but to develop a trust that they can handle these difficult thoughts and feelings. If they learn that there is no inner experience that they need to protect themselves from, they can find more freedom in the outer world. When a worry comes up, he instructs the anxiety sufferers to notice what they are thinking, feel the anxiety in their body, and then turn their attention to their breathing. If the anxiety persists, he encourages them to imagine their thoughts and emotions dissolving with the breath. He teaches them that if they don’t fight the anxiety, it will naturally run its course.
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otice if there is any tension present, or changes to your heart rate or breathing. N
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otice how it feels to breathe in and breathe out.
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You don’t need to make the thought go away; just stay with the feeling of your breath.
2014-02-17
You don’t have to automatically accept the content of the thought. In other words, you might say to yourself, “Oh well, there’s that thought again—worries happen. That’s just the way the mind works, and it doesn’t necessarily mean anything.” You’re not saying to yourself, “Oh well, I guess it’s true. I am a terrible person and terrible things are going to happen to me, and I guess I need to accept
2014-02-17
thought suppression doesn’t just make it more likely that we’ll think something—it makes us compelled to do the very thing we’re trying not to think of
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the people most likely to use thought suppression as a defense strategy against temptation are the most vulnerable to its unwanted effects.
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Our eventual failure to control our thoughts and behavior is interpreted as evidence that we didn’t try hard enough to suppress—not that suppression doesn’t work.
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accept whatever thoughts or feelings they had about the chocolate, but also remember that they didn’t have to act on those thoughts and feelings.
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ACCEPT THOSE CRAVINGS—JUST DON’T ACT ON THEM
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1. Notice that you are thinking about your temptation or feeling a craving.
2. Accept the thought or feeling without trying to immediately distract yourself or argue with it. Remind yourself of the white-bear rebound effect.
3. Step back by realizing that thoughts and feelings aren’t always under your control, but you can choose whether to act on them.
4. Remember your goal. Remind yourself of whatever your commitment is, as the students reminded themselves of their agreement not
2014-02-17
eat the Hershey’s Kisses.
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What thoughts were going through their mind？ What did the urge feel like in the body？ Was there nausea, or a gnawing in their stomach？ Did they feel tension in their lungs or throat？ B
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What does the urge feel like？ Is it hot or cold？ Do you feel tension anywhere in your body？ What’s happening with your heart rate, your breathing, or your gut？ Stay with the sensations for at least one minute. Notice whether the feelings fluctuate in intensity or quality.
2014-02-17
When you first practice this strategy, you may surf the urge and still give in. In Bowen’s smoking study, everybody smoked as soon as they left the torture chamber.
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urfing the urge is a skill that builds with time,
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he decided to try surfing the urge to criticize. When she felt the impulse rising, she paused and felt the tension in her body. I
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urfing the urge is not just for addiction; it can help you handle any destructive impulse.
2014-02-17
INNER ACCEPTANCE, OUTER CONTROL
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As you begin to experiment with the power of acceptance, it’s important to remember that the opposite of suppression is not self-indulgence.
2014-02-17
They rely on the mind’s ability to observe ourselves with curiosity, not judgment.
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elf-awareness, self-care, and remembering what matters most—are the foundation for self-control.
《The Willpower Instinct》读后感(六)：#十周积极心理建设行动# week 1: 一些日常想法与一次冥想练习：欲望与自控
The Willpower Instinct 写道：“如果没有了欲望，人们就会变得沮丧；如果没有了恐惧，人们就没法保护自己，远离伤害。”温故positive psychology幸福课，重温到第四讲：我们有一些本能，有一些欲望，它们是固有的，不论好坏。我们都要接受他们。明白了欲望时人的本性是固有的，便会明白为什么没有欲望人会变得沮丧的客观事实。在接受这个本性后，我们唯一能做的，是通过研究首先来理解他。理解他后，好好利用他。
我们有句古话，叫做“无欲则刚”，意思是说，一个人如果没有什么欲望的话，他就什么都不怕，什么都不必怕了。 “欲”，实际就是一种生活目标，一种人生理想。乍一看无欲则刚与上文提到的貌似矛盾。其实孔子说：“所谓的‘刚’，并不是指逞强好胜，而是一种克制自己的工夫。能够克制住自己的欲望，无论在任何环境中都不违背天理，而且始终如一，不轻易改变，这才算是真正的‘刚’啊！” 那么，无欲则刚大致可以理解为没有了外在欲望，这里的“欲”是“不正当的，没情商的欲”，“刚”是指克制自己，去自控；而能很好的掌控自己，便没有什么值得恐惧的了。
因此我们古代的圣贤还是如今的西方心理学，都肯定自我认识及自控对于建设积极人生的正面作用。
我的现状：作为普通年轻人之一，目前的状态是生活没有目标会变得沮丧，这里的目标既有物质上的，比如衣食住行的品质提升；也有精神上的，比如对于知识，对于自我价值实现的渴求，通过倾听交流或读书来获得精神的认同与提升。对我来说，目标设定正是欲望本能的体现。
恰巧，昨日读书《舍得舍不得》读到：青春岁月，欢爱温暖，许许多多舍不得。读懂经文，读懂无欲则刚，很容易，能在生活里切实做到，着实相当困难。
凯利认为“在意志力挑战中获胜的关键，在于学会利用原始本能，而不是反抗这些本能。自控系统与生存本能并不总会冲突，某些时刻，它们互相协作，帮我们做出更好的选择。”
正如前几天师傅分享的那只拿了枪的男人遇到狼选择跑，而不是开枪打死狼。因为他说不能抹杀天性。狼的天性如此，人的天性也如此。人的大脑进化也非常奇妙，比如我们有嗜甜的本能，但是大脑里又有一种系统能让我们远离糖果罐。
因此，如何利用这些本能，这些大脑的控制系统？结合这一周幸福课与凯利的第一周训练内容还有自身经历，我总结以下观点：
首先，要有正确的认知。允许自己是个普通人（permission to be human).我们需要一个空间，生活中需要有一个地方，在那里我们准许自己为人，无条件接受自己。可以是和挚友一起时，或者是我们关心的人。最重要的是面对自己时，写日记时，这是准许自己哭泣，快乐。比如我们会因为另一个人比我获得更多爱人的关注，而产生嫉妒，然而五分钟之后，又对他产生强烈的爱意。一种特别的情绪，以前也许会觉得真是伪君子，前一分钟充满嫉妒，转眼又体会无尽爱意？这正是允许自己是普通人。体会嫉妒，接受他。而当你试图压抑这种自然现象时，这种现象只会加强。
比如在接下来的十秒钟里，让你去不要想象一只粉色大象。事实是多数人会想象粉色大象。
正如TalBen决定以教书为终生职业时必须要克服个性内向的问题一样，我知道我要克服的是害怕出错的心理，我以前会经常对自己说：不能出错，不能焦虑，不能出错。。。现在我或许能更好的明白一个道理，即使出错即使紧张也没什么，因为允许自己为人。即使出错了，我也会坦然承认错误，不去拒绝和否定。
其次：接受本性不是屈从，而是主动接受。意味着理解有些事情，无法改变，有些事情我能而且应该去改变。情感、行为、和认知是互相转化和促进的。
举个
《The Willpower Instinct》读后感(七)：reality
I finily fintished the book. It took me so long time to read it.I almost forget the content in previous of the book except the first 2 chapters。
I remember to focus on breathing when resist the temptation.The last chapters tell me rebound theroy。When you want to resisit one temptation ,which will assume you more. the more resist ,the more temptate.
《The Willpower Instinct》读后感(八)：我因为没有自控力而选择读一本有关自控力的书，却因为没有自控力而烂尾了。
最近发生的最讽刺的事情就是，我因为没有自控力而选择读一本有关自控力的书，却因为没有自控力而烂尾了。
但是我还是不太甘心，于是这两个周末拿出来读完了，整本书其实不长，而且基本的科普读物和方法普及，很多东西在哈佛的积极心理学和Your Brain At Work中读过，只是不同的人行文方式不同，不同的人给出的建议也不同。其实也是因为觉得这东西不新鲜，读了一半不太想读了，但是后来发现作者Kelly Mc Gonigal是个大美女，立刻就有动力多了。
基本道理还是如何在理性的前额叶和感性的大脑之间做斗争。作者提出的核心观点比较有意思：我们的大脑进化速度比社会变化速度慢太多，对于现代环境中无所不在的诱惑，我们祖先留给我们的大脑大多数情况下是脆弱的，所以我们必须加强我们对一些方面欲望的控制，才能够在现代社会中达到自己的目标。
人跟动物最大的区别就是自我认知，认识到自己的大脑，同时认识到自己有时候的选择是不靠谱的，自己脑子有的时候是不可信的，这听起来很奇怪很可笑，但是也是很有意思的一件事。仔细想一下这个句子：我们能够发现自己的大脑有时候是不可信的。
说通俗一些，还是理性的思考和感性的冲动之间的关系。人不能没有情感，情感是我们生活在这个世界的动力，情感让这个世界更美好，但是有的时候我们的情绪上的冲动和对欲望的屈服给我们带来的不是我们想要的结果，尤其是在如今这个到处充满诱惑的社会中，金钱、美女、美食等等诱惑琳琅满目，而如果控制不住那个感性的自己的话，在短暂的快感之后，等待我们的很可能是破产，肥胖，甚至牢狱之灾。
如何让感性的自己和理性的自己和谐相处，并且还不至于人格分裂，这需要一些思维上的小技巧，其实也都是对于自我认知的完善。
首先我们得知道自己要什么，知道自己未来的目标是什么。作者在提到将来的自己的时候，提到我们很多人将未来的自己看成一个很完美，很成功的人，几乎跟现在的自己是两个人，因为我们在想象未来的时候，并不能切身体会到我们的懒惰，我们对欲望的屈服，等等。因此，在设定自己的目标的时候，我们需要考虑到自己的实际情况，让目标更加现实，更具有可行性，这样更有利于我们自己一步步去实现。这个目标，作者称为“I Want“ Power。
另外两大属性是“I Will” Power和“I Won't” Power，“I Will”没什么可说的，有了靠谱的目标之后，逐步细化成可执行的任务，就很明确的知道自己要做什么了。作者对与“I Won't”的解读有点意思。
我们默认的规则是如果减肥会告诉自己少吃，多运动，这是“I Will”；同时呢，不吃高热量食物，不吃糖，不熬夜，不去酒吧，这是“I Won't”。可是许多研究表明，这种要求自己不能干这个，不能干那个的办法是没有用的，甚至有的时候会起到反向作用。如果我们告诫自己“不能吃巧克力”，那么“巧克力”这个我们平时几乎不怎么想的词，反而一次次的出现在我的大脑中，反而更容易诱惑我去吃更多的巧克力，或者用其他的方式来满足自己的欲望。作者的建议是，承认自己是个普通人，不要追求完美，我们每个人都有失败，都有屈从于欲望的时刻，站在一个旁观者的角度，原谅自己，给自己鼓励，给自己打气，而不是惩罚自己和自责。因为自责所带来的消极情绪，会让我们产生压力，会让我们的大脑去寻找更快速的快感，比如“巧克力”。这就陷入了一个恶性循环，我们失败了，然后自责，然后更加堕落，这在本书中称为“去你妹效应”（“What-the-hell effect”）。
关于微博控的观点也有点意思，刷微博主要是因为我们大脑中的多巴胺在作怪。多巴胺让我们的大脑处于一种寻找奖励的状态，让我们充满动力，尤其是对于那些不确定的奖励。而微博，或者游戏，大多数给我们带来的就是这种感觉，我们始终不知道下一条信息是什么，却始终期待着下一页会有对于自己很有用的内容，下一分钟会有人给我一个赞或一个评论，下一个怪物会掉下极品装备。而多巴胺虽然给我们动力，但是跟我们的感觉一样，刷微博和打游戏并不给我们带来很多真实的幸福感。（可能会有，但是任何微博控和游戏迷都得承认，相对于读书或者其他爱好来说，这两项活动更多的作用只是打发时间罢了。）
而为了克制自己这方面的冲动的办法，则是记得自己目标是什么（I Want），记得自己该做什么（I Will），同时不要责怪自己刷微博（I Won't），而是冷静下来，观察自己刷微博时刻的感觉，自己的想法和自己的呼吸等等，让多巴胺冷却并激发出那个理性的自己。
其它的细节不再整理，国外这种读物的好处就是，基本每个章节后面作者都已经自己做好的总结，片尾还有Author's Note，需要的信息基本都有。
《The Willpower Instinct》读后感(九)：与其是指南，不如当说明去看
//正式开始前先扯一点废话，这不是好习惯- -//
//这本书不长，本来按照页数的话应该在一星期内看完的。但由于各种各样的原因导致我看了20天才将它完成//
//而且这也算是第一本看完的原版书吧，看过后表示文章不难，无较大阅读压力。适合四级及附近水平的童鞋们顺便提升下//
好，现在是正文。
书中很多提过的现象我们或多或少都有所体会。相信有很多童鞋都有过冲动购物的经历，有很多童鞋都有过越不想去想的事情越深植脑海驱散不掉的感觉，很多童鞋都陷入过疲惫无效-未达到预期目标-心情糟糕-疲惫无效的怪圈中。
就像是两军交战一般，知己知彼才能战胜这些烦恼
这本小册子里每一章的实验与论述，正是解决这些问题的情报。从它的产生原因、机理，到它会引起的后果会对自己以及周围的人产生什么影响，一一剖析地清清楚楚。
所以我更多地将这本书看成说明书，而不是解决问题的指南
机理明了后，方法与技巧反而变得不是那么重要了呢
每段说明与论述后面的Under the Microscope部分又提供了运用新武器实践的机会。通过对自己的观察与应用体会整个情绪的生命周期，体会相应的方法技巧的效果
很明显感觉到了“崇尚实践”这个实用主义风格啊//想吐槽某苦逼211的学术传统//
还有一点值得一提的便是文章的语言风格。文章的语言很简单，很单纯地表明观点，没有什么附加的装饰//浓浓的理工风//
另外作者有时候在括号里面的内容，有点淡淡的卖萌感觉//这不是在吐槽出现在整篇文章里面的注释么//
总之是值得看的小册子了
《The Willpower Instinct》读后感(十)：The Pattern of Books on Positive Psychology
I've read several books with the topic of positive psychology. They are intended to guide readers to reflect on our behavior or psychology and make changes. This book, about the willpower, is among them. Interestingly, I find most such books run similar pattern in arguments.
First, authors ask readers to check their motivation. This usually serves to relate behavior with psychology. The authors usually can list a bunch of inspiring motives for readers to choose. The good authors are always good at hitting the point, and entice us to read on.
Then, if the author is science in training. They will explain how neurology is related in thisprocess. They will probably how some psychological phenomena are related with the dopamine system, and things like that. Why do we need to talk about the science when things are seemingly behavior at all？ Because physiology and psychology are interlocked. If we don't understand the limit or weakness of the physical bodies, we self-righteously assume that there is the omnipotent spirits that control our behaviors and they are not governed by physical laws.
Eventually, they talk about how to make changes. At this stage, it's always easy to brainstorm solutions to our problems.
Most of our unwanted behavior is irrational and unconscious. When we are conscious of them, these bad behavior will not happen at all. Some people do not like reading books on positive psychology, and they say these books require a high level of will power in the reader and thus won't work effective for them. I'd say, it's good enough to just know why we are doing this or that. If we know our motives, we have a truly free choice. Otherwise, we are just slaves of our unconscious minds.