《Is There Still Sex In the City?》是一本由Candace Bushnell著作，Grove Press出版的272图书，本书定价：Hardcover，页数：2019-5，特精心从网络上整理的一些读者的读后感，希望对大家能有帮助。

　　《Is There Still Sex In the City?》精选点评：

　　●挺无聊的……

　　●挺失望的 ：（ 当作睡前读物还凑合，可读可不读。

　　●看完对老年生活更绝望了

　　●其中一句话与各位共享: A relationship should be the icing on the cake of your life, not your life. 恋爱应该是你生活的点缀，而不是生活的全部。

　　●总觉得到了中年生活不该那么空虚的。我三十五岁以后就觉得生活宽广了很多。估计到五十岁生活会更自由更厚实。怎么这位五十多岁了还在鞋包和种马之间打滚儿。

　　《Is There Still Sex In the City?》读后感(一)：欲望都市这部剧集你还记得吗？

　　在生病期间存货了不少新书，但没想好到底首先分享哪一本，想一下话题性，还是选择了这本8月6号刚出版的来自《Sex and the City》原著作者的新书。

　　在过去二十年间，HBO的《欲望都市》应该是最具代表性的美剧之一了，也许很多人第一次接触美剧就是从这部剧开始。这部辛辣前卫的剧集讲述了四位纽约女性的感情，生活和欲望，虽然内容有些许争议但本片还是获得了巨大成功，主演三次获得金球奖最佳喜剧电视女演员，该剧也获得2001年艾美奖最佳喜剧类剧集。

　　三十女人的寂寞，四十女人的开朗，故事不断延续，那五十岁的女人呢？原著作者的新书就是审视纽约市 50 岁以上人们的爱情和约会。为什么选择这个年龄段呢，作者是这样表达的：这个年龄的女人们其实是非常丰富且多面向的：“50 多岁是差不多可以退休的年纪，进入一个相对悠闲的生活模式，工作量减少、能花更多时间在爱好上、和朋友在一起。他们不需要太努力运动、开启新的商业投资、搬到另一个州生活、偶尔与陌生人上床，一切重新开始。这是许多五六十岁女人的真实生活，我很渴望在荧幕、书本上刻画她们丰富且错综复杂的人生故事。”

　　由于之前《欲望都市》的巨大成功，所以本书在推出前的改编权已经名花有主，派拉蒙和 Anonymous Content 获得改编权，将把它拍成一部电视剧，让我们一起期待吧，不过需要说明的是新的电视剧并不一定是《欲望都市》的直接续集，更多是内容和主题上有所承接，目前不确定是否会有《欲望都市》原剧的角色，但也许这个不重要了，对吗。

　　希望这本新书能给你带来一些快乐，一些思考，虽然还没有到50岁。

　　欢迎关注公众号重燃阅读，获得更多最新英文原版书籍信息。

　　《Is There Still Sex In the City?》读后感(二)：豆瓣er等35岁以后再读吧

　　讲真，除了“欲望都市”以外，作者的Lipstick Jungle、“日记”什么的我都读过——读完就忘——比“不喜欢”更糟糕。但是这本读完，真的，还可以。

　　想要读恋爱故事或人生事迹的读者们会失望，里面所有提到的，基本都是八卦逸事。Candace以她坚定的风格，继续写着中老年感情生活。她的思想保守到你可能会失望——每个人在这将近黄昏的节点上，还是不会放弃寻找在一起的“另一半”。

　　但是她又是一个那么温和的女权主义者：

　　她写感情，说二十、三十岁的时候，感情生活就不是你人生的全部，而只是锦上添花（a relationship should be the icing on the cake of your life, not your life）——到老，也还是这样啊。

　　她写MAM——Middle Age Madness——新中年危机。以前男人有这样或那样的危机，现在，女性也有了这样的时刻。（怎么办？不知道，但是，知道MAM总比不知道好）

　　她还写——“这个社会宠溺男人，哄他们说他们（比实际）强，而苛求女人（society colludes to tell men they’re a little bit better than they actually are while it tells women they’re a little bit worse.）”

　　也许Candace说得对，也许并不全对。但是当有这样一位曾和“大都市”谈过恋爱、阅历丰富的女人在书中对衰老、对老少配、对MAM侃侃而谈，你就会略微安心一些。

　　毕竟，我们都会慢慢变老呀。

　　《Is There Still Sex In the City?》读后感(三)：爱一个、上一课，60岁的Carrie Bradshaw又恋爱了

　　

《欲望都市》原著作者Candace Bushnell也老了。这位Carrie Bradshaw的原型迈入60岁前和“Mr Big”离婚，搬离了曼哈顿、住到了乡下，出了本新书叫《Is there still sex in the city？》。在书中她讲了MNBs（My New Boyfriend）和中年危机，还赶时髦添加了Tinder等当下的话题。

新书反响一般，Amazon评分3.5星。电视剧卷土重来时，所有新闻中也没人再提这本书。飞快提炼了一下老年Carrie Bradshaw的中心思想：

1，不管是30岁还是中年（Candace Bushnell的意思是迈入60岁吧……），朋友都非常重要；2，年岁越长，你的乐趣越来自度假和爱好。老Carrie坦诚快到60岁时，骑自行车的乐趣比购物的乐趣来得更多。这是电视剧里没有告诉过你的；3，越到后面、对感情的期望值越低、人也会变得轻松，你和闺蜜们也不再聚一块儿就是为了骂男人没一个好东西——往往这时就是人最佳状态——Candace Bushnell后来在一次派对上认识了64岁的“男朋友”；4，人到中年，该有的都有了，恋爱这时候只是锦上添花而不是雪中送炭；5，你可能会说，能这么想不也是因为有经济基础呗！是，也不是。哪怕就是在西方发达国家，倒推50年，离异的女人通常还失去了工作机会选择、买房的机会、泡年轻男人的可能……看看她，看看现在……时代依然在变好。

今年是《欲望都市》首季开播的21年，时至今日社交媒体上都有大量粉丝。推特上（如@BradshawOnTour）有十级观众模仿Carrie Bradshaw讲话，Ins上（如@everyoutfitonsatc）有账号考究剧中角色每一个人穿过的衣服。

你们看，这个账号与时俱进，用最近的美股热门事件来模仿Carrie Bradshaw

如今，原班人马也将回归荧幕，但这一次曼哈顿女神Samantha Jones因为演员问题将不会出现。甚至因为剧情逻辑需要，会把她写死。因为这个缺失，很多铁杆粉丝纷纷表示拒绝再看新剧。

很多年前我的一次约会在South Kensington的Addie's Thai。西伦敦这家泰国菜当年非常火，没有预定走进去，店员说我可以给你们桌子，但是一个半小时后必须走。对方忿忿然拉着我就走，随便进了一家我从没去过的日本餐厅。

开在South Kensington的日餐，可以想象食物做得实在是又小又贵还寡淡。好在聊得愉快，吃到一半我说，记不记得《欲望都市》里有一集，四个女人去吃那种装神弄鬼的料理，完了Samantha就到了街边外卖店吃薯条，说：啊，这才是真的食物！

只见对面两眼放光：我们现在就去吃汉堡吧！肯德基还是麦当劳？……

嗨，我当时讲这个情节，不过是恰好我一个前任给我讲过这个情节罢了。搬运《欲望都市》梗在约会时“不经意地”提起，这种事后来不知道发生过多少次……就算差不多的梗在不同阶段不同城市不同餐厅讲给不同的人听，心情也是不一样的。编剧用有限的几十集已经写遍了都市情爱、哪个Date都可以套用，但每次恋上新人我都还是愉悦。

一直享受恋爱，尽管很偶尔的时候也需要一张作弊的小纸条

电视剧《欲望都市》里Carrie Bradshaw抛出一个问题：Twenty something years old girl, friend or foe？ 那一集里Carrie看着自己老照片，旁白在回顾她的20岁。别的不说，她说20几岁“穿品味很糟的衣服”和“被活很差的人睡”，等到了30岁回头看，是没说错。

18岁时看《欲望都市》觉得精彩但好夸张，里面那些情节现实里怎么可能？等后来真遇上别人提出荒诞的要求，也就不会吓得落荒而逃。Carrie Bradshaw被人用一张Post贴分手，换到现在人们更糟糕，可能直接装死不回信息更别指望讨到个说法，只有被辜负的伤心是同样的。

　　《Is There Still Sex In the City?》读后感(四)：中年“喪”女

　　#書# 2019《Is There Still Sexin the City？》6/10 作者：Candace Bushnell 出版社：Grove Press 出版時間： 2019-5 頁數：272

　　“喪”這個字，一邊讀一邊顯現在腦海，讀完之後，情緒都被拉低：為什麼Candace會寫出這樣一本“喪”書？1996年《Sex and the City》裡面女性爭取平等，甚至掠食男性的霸氣呢？為什麼23年後，不僅僅是雙膝跪下，甚至有趴下舔腳趾的卑微？ 難道現代女性努力了一輩子，進入50歲之後還無法上世俗認同的岸——擁有家庭，連自身價值都失去了？ That middle-aged drumbeat of terror—it’s all downhill from here!—was pulsing in my head. I was convinced that nothing good would ever happen again, that age was about to take away all of life’s excitements and pleasures, leaving me with nothing but my own useless existence. There had been a spate of deaths and suicides that month. Mostly women in their fifties, women like Marilyn who’d appeared to have had it all. Like everyone else, they didn’t. Lurking in the background were financial issues or relationship issues or health issues. But mostly, what you sensed was the fear. The pure terror of the unknown future. The fear that you were a failure. That no one would love you ever or again. That you were truly alone. That no one cared and it was only going to get worse. That there was no imaginary bright future to hide behind when it came to the truth. These were the fears that crept into our bones like the cold, damp weather during that long winter. 然而，這都是她們自身的問題嗎？ 如果說在工業社會，對女性歧視已經被壓到表面之下，互聯網社會則明目張膽的用算法來歧視：“女性”“單身”“自由工作者”“超過50歲”這幾個組合加起來，在算法裡面是沒有經濟延續性，想要銀行貸款，根本連評估的機會都沒有，直接拒絕。再加上職場長江後浪推前浪，中年失業對於女性是雪上加霜，甚至可能是致命一擊。 “I’m sorry,” he said. “It’s the algorithm.” “I’m not going to get the mortgage, am I？” “No,” he whispered. And suddenly, I understood. I no longer checked off any of the right boxes. I was (a) a woman, (b) single, (c) self-employed, and (d) over fifty. And because I had no applicable boxes, I was no longer a demographic. Which meant, in the world of algorithms, I didn’t exist. Welcome to middle-age madness, where your career might possibly be over. 這個男權社會制度的確對女性不公平，可是在鬥獸場裡，卻是女性主動被動互相廝殺，博取上位。討好男性審美的標準化妝容，為了保持對男性的吸引力和自身“標價”，不斷砸錢去抵抗歲月痕跡，甚至去做“Mona Lisa”陰道修整手術——這比整容或者隆胸更讓人覺得悲哀，女性物化已經進入萬劫不復的地獄。 “Listen Arnold,” I said. “You cannot believe that these twenty-five- and thirty-five- and even forty-five-year-old women with whom you are supposedly having sex are actually attracted to you.” Arnold considered this, and then, strangely, he agreed. Even if the women weren’t per se attracted to him, he explained, the system still worked in his favor. And the reason for it was that women were greedy. Men, Arnold explained, don’t care why a woman is having sex with them as long as she is having sex with them. Plus, he reminded me, men have the power because if one woman doesn’t meet their demands, there’s always another woman who will. It’s a ｓｃｒｉｐｔ that men with money control and continue to control even into old age—as long as they’re able to provide something some “greedy” woman wants. Like an expensive handbag. Her hair was Madison World blonde, a color not too platinum or too gold, in a tone that is cheerful without being showy. The texture is bouncy, of a length that can’t be described as long or short. In other words, Madison World blonde is a pleasantly interchangeable hairstyle that looks good on many women and often causes them to look exactly alike, to the point where these women are often mistaken for other Madison World blondes, even by their own husbands. “How much？” “Eeeee.” I hedged. Could I tell her the truth？ No. I couldn’t even tell myself the truth. I couldn’t digest it. “Maybe two or three thousand？” I lied. I couldn’t explain it to myself. Was it possible that Krystal had somehow hypnotized me into spending all that money？ Or was it just that I was too afraid to hurt her feelings or make her angry. There was another part I didn’t want to admit, and it was that I really wanted that face cream. But mostly, I really wanted that face cream to work. This was a major bummer. Being flat chested was on the very top of the list of egregious female imperfections, above “fat,” “hairy,” and “fat and hairy.” Being flat chested was considered an abnormality, an insult to the male gender, the facts of which her brothers never tired of reminding her. They weren’t the only ones. “That’s why I brought up the Mona Lisa,” she said, sounding like a woman in an advert. “It’s a new laser treatment that restores thickness and elasticity to the vagina.” She slid a purple pamphlet toward me. “Think about it. You’ll find it makes a huge difference when it comes to sex.” I coughed. “How much？” “It’s three treatments for three thousand dollars.” Three thousand dollars？ No thanks. 可是即使把自我物化到如此地步，擇偶標準一再降低，要的也不再是“relationship”，而是互相獨立但又可以依靠的“companionship”，想找到年紀和階層匹配的伴侶，依然也是登天難事。 Especially when it came to age-appropriate men. The problem seemed to be that unlike the cubs, middle-aged men were often still of the mindset that women over fifty weren’t all that appealing. Especially when it was so easy for them to find not just younger women, but women who were eager to begin the reproductive lifestyle all over again with them. Of all the micro- and macroaggressions of aging, the worst one is when you discover you’ve crossed the bridge from wanting a relationship, with all that entails, to having to settle for its lesser cousin: companionship. A relationship implies a dynamic partnership where people are going to get something done. Companionship implies the opposite: people are going to keep each other company while they mostly just sit there. “I want someone to be an equal,” she says. “They’ve got to carry their share of the load. And they’ve got to be there emotionally. Because what I’ve found in life is that shit happens to all of us, and it’s just a little better if you don’t have to go through it alone.” And indeed, why not. In middle-aged dating and beyond, people aren’t partnering up to get a life. They already have a life—children and exes and parents and work—so this time around, a relationship is about enhancing your life. It reminded me of the relationship theory we’d spout to ourselves back in our twenties and thirties: a relationship should be the icing on the cake of your life, not your life. And now, apparently, this was possible. 對老狗比不抱希望，轉向圈養小狼狗或者小奶狗呢？ 過渡階段的互相利用，你說結果能怎麼樣？ At first the idea seemed impossible. After all, for years, the very idea that a younger man would be attracted to a woman ten, twenty, even thirty years older was unimaginable—to the point where it was nearly considered a crime against nature. Plus, while there are a zillion movies depicting the older man/much younger woman dynamic, for decades there was only one movie depicting the opposite: The Graduate. However, unlike the older man/younger woman movie thing where they ride off into the sunset to live (somehow given their thirty-year age difference) happily ever after, The Graduate turns out to be pretty bad for everyone involved. The message of this movie is clear: ladies, don’t you ever, ever, ever try this at home. And so, for about twenty years, no self-respecting woman did, until the eighties came along. Suddenly, there were “cougars”—older women who dared to have sex or at least be attracted to hot young men who were called boy toys—often depicted as pumped-up young men in black shorty shorts and greased muscles. Everyone made fun of them and rightly so: they were ridiculous. You’d look at them and wonder: If I have sex with a boy toy how will I get that greasy-thick Vaseline mixed with sweat off my sheets in the morning？ Now another thirty years have passed. And thanks to pornography, things have changed. In 2007, the most googled porn request was “MILF”—mothers I’d like to fuck. In other words, there is now a whole generation of young men who’ve been turned on by the idea, at least, of sex with a woman twenty and possibly thirty years older. And why not？ Due to exercise, hair extensions, Botox and filler, healthy eating, and advanced skin care, even if a woman is technically too old to bear a child, she can still look like she can. Making her the perfect candidate for a cubbing experience. Instead of being about older women in pursuit of younger men—like it was in The Graduate—cubbing is about younger men in pursuit of older women. And while the word “cougar” conjures the stereotype of a hardened woman who dresses too young for her age, catnips tend to be nice, practical women from the city, the suburbs, anywhere really, and they are very, very likely to be someone’s mom from school. A woman is vulnerable to a UCP (unexpected cub pounce) if she: (a) is recently sectionorced or separated from her partner, (b) hasn’t had much male attention in the last few years, or (c) does something she normally doesn’t do or hasn’t done for a long time, i.e. vaping. This is another typical cub ploy: suddenly moving in when they’ve lost a place to live. Like James, the cub always claims to have a place to live when you first meet. Then the “place to live” becomes someplace less defined—a place to “crash” perhaps. And then the place mysteriously disappears altogether and the cub is homeless. And where better to stay than with you？ Naturally the cub reassures—and cautions—that the arrangement is only temporary. Cubs know that the women who house them are not looking for forever. Forever is too soon. It’s too raw, it’s too scary. Especially when you don’t know where you’ll be three months from now. 那麼已經走在端莊大道的女性呢？Candace誠實地說出了她對沒有生養孩子的感覺“As I closed my eyes, I wondered if I’d missed out.”因為有了孩子，你就不再需要去想生活的意義，方向和成就每天都是實打實在你眼前跑動。 The people at the bike shop magically put the bike together, and within about three minutes, with no help from his father, the boy was pedaling around the parking lot. And the smile on his face. I could say it stretched from ear to ear, but it was more than that. It was the smile that makes it all worth it. All the mess, the fuss, the inconvenience of having to feed, clothe, entertain, shepherd, and most of all think obsessively about a small person. When you see the look of joy on a kid’s face that tells you that they get it—there’s nothing like it. You know you’ve lived. They shooed me away. They didn’t need me. And this, I realized, is one of the realities of not having kids. No one needs you. Sure, your dog and your friends need you, but it’s not quite the same. And taking it one step further, when you die, who is going to be bummed out about it？ Yes, your friends will be sad but not for that long. And while friends are usually happy to go to your funeral, they don’t necessarily want to have to plan it. And finally, who are you going to leave your IRA to？ Assuming you’re lucky enough to have an IRA. That night, as I got ready for bed, I thought about Max and how he suddenly had a purpose in life: his son. As I closed my eyes, I wondered if I’d missed out. The parents all seemed very nice—there’s something about kids that makes most adults behave—but they were also at least a decade younger than Max and me, with faces that still had that hopeful glow that all this was going to make sense someday. I envied the fact that their lives had a pattern. Predictable, perhaps, but also comforting. Because when you have kids, you know what you’re supposed to do with your life. You know what’s supposed to happen and when. If you’re childless and single, you don’t have the pattern. You don’t know how it’s supposed to go down. 但緊跟著筆鋒一轉，養育孩子的痛苦，特別是丈夫的不作為和拉後腿，又讓人心有餘悸——付出那麼多，卻沒有任何保證，這難道就是人生？ Kids and men have many common traits. Such as: Starting a project and not finishing it. Leaving messes for other people to clean up. Not understanding “messes” or what constitutes one. And all of this is probably okay, unless you are playing the caretaking role in the relationship. Which means you are mothering, you are cleaning up, you are silent, you are putting others first along with their needs, even if—and especially if—their “needs” require that you spend less time on your needs. In other words, you have volunteered to make yourself a second-class citizen. Meaning: A person whom no one ever thanks. Who does the really hard stuff. And who is little appreciated. “I finally figured out that it’s not possible to have a real partner in life because relationships are inherently sexist,” she said. “You have to be the mommy and the caretaker and when they want to have sex, you have to want to have sex and at a certain point a part of me would say, ‘Why？ Why am I doing all this for you and what am I getting out of it？’” And there it was, the question that women are never supposed to ask when it comes to relationships. What am I getting out of it？ Because who cares, right？ Who cares what the woman is getting out of it as long as someone else is getting something out of her. This guy is the one women are referring to when they make comments like: “I have three children. Two actual children and my husband.” Like most unions, the spouse-child’s marriage began with the best intentions—as a contemporary marriage where both partners worked and would try to share everything equally. But somewhere along the way, usually after the second child, it all falls apart. Even if she works—and she most probably does—the responsibilities of running the house and taking care of the children fall to her. When she asks her husband to help out, he pouts or gets angry or needs so many instructions it’s easier to do it herself. And that’s the first brick in the wall of resentment. Indeed, the tricky thing about the spouse-child is that outside the house, he’s a perfectly nice guy. He does all the things perfectly nice guys do. He goes to work. He goes to his kids’ school events. He’s there—physically anyway—for holidays and birthdays. He could be anyone’s husband. But at home it’s a different story. It’s not just that he doesn’t do his share of the housework, but it’s also that as time goes on he does less and less of his share of everything. He’s there but not there. Not intellectually, not emotionally, and not sexually. He doesn’t take care of himself, makes no effort, and lets himself go. He gains weight, which makes his sleep apnea worse. At night he disappears into his snoring machine. Eventually, he stops going through the motions at all. And so, while he’s there but not there, he isn’t planning on going anywhere anytime soon. This is something his wife instinctually knows. And what she realizes is that if she doesn’t do something now, if she doesn’t pull the trigger on this marriage, she’s only going to get older and unhappier until one day she’s too old and tired to leave. There were no guarantees. While we’d sit around the fire at night, it didn’t escape us that while Margo had done everything that was once considered “right”—she’d worked, married, had children, and then she’d pulled back and out of the income stream in order to stay home, take care of the kids, and perform all the other endless duties of the reproductive lifestyle—it had left her with nothing. Meanwhile, Sassy and I, who had bucked the family tradition, were okay. We had houses and retirement plans and savings in the bank. 中老年女性面對如此艱難現實，年輕女性呢？ 可悲的是，無論社會如何“進步”，溝通交流工具如何更新換代，實質上她們並沒有比上一代擁有更好的環境和未來。特別是互聯網拉大了人與人的實際距離，現實生活變成僅僅是為了維持虛擬生活的背景。 she was twenty-six and lived most of her life online. She confessed she wasn’t very good at irl—in real life—and that the phone was very irl. “There are so many guys I see online that I think: No, not cute enough, I’m not attracted, but if I met them in real life I would be attracted,” Hannah said. “If you meet someone in real life you have a sense of their humanity. And online you don’t have that.” The atmosphere suddenly became strangely tense, as if someone had said something politically incorrect. There was a pause. “So you would prefer to meet people irl？ If you could, that’s how you would meet everybody？” Emma asked, as if such a thing were not possible. “It’s not that I feel online is bad,” Hannah insisted. “It’s just that the lack of context usually leads to disappointment. You can look at six good pictures of a boy and have no idea if you’ll have any chemistry in person.” “Well,” I began cautiously. “Usually you’d meet a guy and you’d exchange numbers. And then you’d go your separate ways and a couple of days later he’d call you on your landline. You’d chat for a bit. It was really great if the guy was funny. And then he’d ask if you wanted to go out. And sometimes, if that first conversation was really good you’d end up talking for another hour. So by the time the actual date came around, you were pretty excited to see the guy. And the guy was excited to see you too—” “But what did you do on the date？” Marion interrupted. I took another swig of champagne. “You’d go to dinner. And you’d talk. You’d discuss things. And then after dinner, if it was a nice night or if it was snowing, you might go for a walk in the park.” “Oh my god,” Emma gasped. I was embarrassed. “I know,” I groaned. “It’s so corny.” “I don’t think it’s corny at all,” Corina said. “To me, it sounds so appealing.” “It’s true. Guys don’t look at you in a bar. You can’t do that anymore. There’s very little interaction in real life,” she said as she ordered a round of white wine. “That’s just the age we live in.” 互聯網工具進一步加劇人的物化——無論男女，看似外表形形色色，性格五花八門，但實際都有意無意地把自己鑲入符合社會“成功”價值觀的有限模套裡，精緻妝容背後卻是清一色的面目模糊。Candace對於交友（約炮）軟件Tinder的嘗試，總結一針見血：互聯網層出不窮的工具都是陷阱，我們則是它們虎視眈眈的獵物，這場狩獵贏的永遠只會是莊家和它們身後的叼著雪茄瞇著眼笑的資本。 Tinder was gamed against women because it was created by the sexist minds of men who wanted to increase their chances of getting laid. “It’s all about what can you do for me？ Men see women as commodities. Objects. Because it’s on a screen,” Jude explained. “That makes it not real. You can take that image of a woman and do whatever you want to her in your brain.” We talked about the male gaze and how awful it was. About how Tinder brought out the worst in guys, reducing them to nothing more than their base instincts. “If there’s one thing other men know, it’s this: Men are stupid. They’re run by their little heads. And there’s a reason men call it their little head. Men consciously know that their penises should not be in charge. But they are.” “But why？” “Because that’s how it is when you’re a guy today. You don’t have a choice. You have hard-core pornography shoved under your face by the time you’re twelve whether you want to see it or not. Same with Tinder. Even if you don’t want to, you become addicted. If you’re a guy like me, Tinder is designed to feed into the worst part of your psyche. The part that secretly wants to judge a beauty pageant.” “Really？” “And that’s why these guys can’t stop swiping,” he continued. “It’s all about the numbers. Guys swipe left on every photo just to see what they can get. Plus, it’s largely anonymous until you give your pictures life by saying something. And if the girl says something back, it’s like she’s already agreed to have sex with you. And so you just keep swiping. It turns you into a dog. A dog!” “I think I need to sell myself more. Because no one is willing to buy me.” Sassy sipped thoughtfully on her drink. “Are you a commodity that needs to be bought？” Christie nodded. “I am a commodity. And I need to repackage myself.” She paused and looked around. “But doesn’t everyone feel that way？ Even if you’re in a relationship with your friends you’re a commodity.” And part of being a woman is being caught up in the industrial-romance complex where it’s encouraged to believe in true love and romance and getting married and having babies and a far-off happy ending. This fantasy is sold in a million different ways, from reality TV to lingerie to nose-hair clippers. We buy romance and goddamn if it doesn’t make us feel better. as long as women still wanted men, and as long as there was still a chance to get one, even if the odds were gamed against them, women would keep playing. “It’s the attention. The attention makes you think everything in your life is great,” said the seventeen-year-old. She leaned back in her chair and sipped her latte. “I always say this. All social media is like a drug. I know that every time I get a like on Instagram my body is flooded with endorphins.” “Listen.” The sixteen-year-old looked me in the eye. “A lot of the time you have a hookup. And you’re fine with it just being a hookup. You don’t want anything more. But then the guy starts bothering you. And all you want to do is go back on Tinder. Because on Tinder, it’s all about the chase.” The word “takeaway” made me uneasy. It made me think of fast-food restaurants and those giant menus lit up with photographs of mouthwatering food. I wondered if this was the future of dating: Takeaway. People would become items to be ordered from a menu. Like a hamburger done exactly your way. Tinder is the house, and the house always wins. 連二十多歲的女性都不再對愛情抱有希望，只想要一個“Just be a basic human being”的伴侶，我們真的在進步？這個世代，怎麼已經如此悲哀…… “‘Catch feelings,’ as the teens say,” Emma added. “If you catch feelings for someone, you’re done. It’s the generation below us. It’s getting worse for them.” “But I like having sex with someone and having feelings,” Marion said. “And if they have feelings for you, too, that’s the best sex,” Hannah said. “Like, ‘in love’ kind of feelings？” I asked. Nope. “We’re talking about just a baseline level of caring about someone. Like I don’t need you to meet my parents, I don’t need you to be my emergency contact, just care a little bit,” Corina said. “Being nice is a winning quality in guys now. If you’re just not a psycho-killer you’re like the coolest,” Emma said. “Nice is also open and honest, but not ‘I’m all about radical transparency.’ If you can communicate and you’re a six out of ten, I will definitely have sex with you,” Hannah said. “It doesn’t take much. Just be a basic human being,” Marion said. 可能是因為Candace習慣寫專欄，整本書的結構鬆散，靠隱約的時間線扯著，討論的主題雜亂可也沒偏離過多，但閱讀體驗不佳：就像被生活壓得喘不過氣，想著走進城市花園躲一躲，但太陽始終被高樓遮蔽，花草又長得不算舒心，走在人工拼湊的碎石板路上，腳跟還時不時陷入爛泥地……雖然書裡還是有女性的抗爭，把男性當做工具，但“喪”是從頭到尾，連happy ending都是裹在自我懷疑和如履薄冰中。滿書枯燥無味的陳詞濫調，別說當頭棒喝，連一針見血的領悟都沒有，到最後已經不知道到底是書內容和文筆本身問題，還是基調的“喪”讓人極度厭惡，皺著眉只想草草讀完，然後刪除忘掉。 She was going to marry a man for money. Outwardly, her friends applauded her. In the world of women, using a man for his money is payback for men using women for, well, just about everything. Why me？ “I don’t get it,” I said to Sassy. “How did I meet this great age-appropriate guy who has his own money and his own house and is really nice . . . and he wants to be my boyfriend？” She said, “Honey, you’ve worked hard, you’ve done the work, and you deserve it.” Perhaps I had, but we all know that just because a woman deserves something good, it doesn’t always mean she’s going to get it. Did I deserve to be spoiled by a wonderful single man who didn’t appear to have anything glaringly wrong with him？ Of course I did. And so does every other woman. But how often does it happen？ Almost never. Why should the universe have singled me out for this particular carnival ride？ 1996年的《Sex and the City》向我們展示了生活的各種可能性，然而2019年的《Is There Still Sex in the City？》則是殘忍地告知我們生活的各種“不”可能性。如果我們努力抗爭一輩子，到最後還是要向這個世界低頭甚至跪下，那麼之前的掙扎意義何在？活著意義何在？ 中年“喪”女，真的很可悲，真的很可怕！

　　書目錄 Table of Contents Also by Copyright Dedication Chapter One Chapter Two Chapter Three Chapter Four Chapter Five Chapter Six Chapter Seven Chapter Eight Chapter Nine Chapter Ten Epilogue Acknowledgments About the Author About the Publisher