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Lean In经典读后感10篇
日期:2018-08-25 04:48:02 作者:文章吧 阅读:

Lean In经典读后感10篇

  《Lean In》是一本由Sheryl Sandberg著作,Knopf出版的Hardcover图书,本书定价:USD 24.95,页数:240,特精心网络整理的一些读者读后感希望大家能有帮助

  《Lean In》读后感(一):Assuring & Warming > Inspiring

  A few high-level points first:

  * This book is more assuring and warming than inspiring. Many of the points aren't particularly new or novel, but it is very comforting to know that we are not alone in experiencing these kinds of feelings or emotions, which leads to the second point.

  * That the intent and purpose of this book is to make more people aware of the inequalities and the problems that we are facing, and awareness is the first step towards change. So in this light, her effort should be well-recognized.

  * There are several techniques that I can't help noticing she keeps using:

  - intended humor, e.g.: "A great day is when I rush home and then sit in the rocking chair in the corner of my daughter's room with both of my kids on my lap. We rock and read together, just a quiet (okay, not always quiet), joyful moment at the end of their day. They drift off to sleep and I drift (okay, run) back to my laptop." It is funny when she first uses it, but I felt a bit tired of it after five times of usage.

  - different parts of the book echoes, 呼应, so that it reminds readers the structure of the book

  - repetition, a bit overlapped with the one I mentioned above, which is very useful to deepen the impression left on the readers. Also it serves the purpose of the book well, to raise the awareness of the popular mass

  - quoting research results, somehow I like it very much. I guess it is because my own training that I understand both the value and flaws of research work. Nevertheless, I'm learning to trust the data instead of gut feelings.

  * One thing I don't like about the book is that it feels a bit fragmented with a lot of back and forth, and the flow of the book isn't smooth. Part of this, I think, is due to her effort to be as objective and neutral as possible. She wants to make a point, but always goes into great length to explain the context to make sure her point isn't misinterpreted. It is legit concern and I think it is necessary, but it breaks the flow and make reading it a less enjoyable and more tiring experience.

  * All in all it's a good book.

  ----------

  Things that I underlined (this is just notes for myself...):

  * P4, To this day, I'm embarrassed that I didn't realize that pregnant women needed reserved parking until I experienced my own aching feet.

  * P5, A meager twenty-one of the Fortune 500 CEOs are women.

  * P6, making decisions that most affect our world

  * P8, We hold ourselves back in ways both big and small, by lacking self-confidence, by not raising our hands, and by pulling back when we should be leaning in.

  * P9, I never thought I would write a book.

  * P10, pursue any goal vigorously

  * P13, When she left her job to marry my grandfather, family legend has it that David's had to hire four people to replace her... Girlie ended up with a profit margin that Apple would envy. [talking about her grandmother, jewish people!!!]

  * P14, highly trained women are scaling back and dropping out of the workforce in high numbers

  * P15, raise-your-hand-and-speak-when-called-on behaviors [I think now I know where I got my inspirations for my essay when I used the phrase we-support-you-unconditionally-when-you-are-not-crazy parents]

  * P15, are less valued in the workplace... taking risks and advocating for oneself

  * P17, female accomplishments come at a cost

  * P22, quaint, emulate

  * P24, fear is at the root of so many of the barriers that women face. Fear of not being liked. Fear of making the wrong choice. Fear of drawing negative attention. Fear of overreaching. Fear of being judged. Fear of failure. And the holy trinity of fear: the fear of being a bad mother/wife/daughter.

  * P25, leaders, gusto

  * P26, the baddest bitch

  * P28, feeling like a fraud, impostor with limited skills or abilities [turned out I wasn't alone in this]

  * P29, egomania

  * P32, I COULD FEEL SOMETHING DEEPLY AND PROFOUNDLY AND BE COMPLETELY WRONG [one of my favorite sentences]

  * P54, When I tried to execute my final calculations, I took down the entire system. That's right. Years before Mark famously crashed that same Harvard system, I beat him to it. [LOL, this is a good one]

  * P59, I also believe everyone should have an eighteen-month plan. (I say eighteen months because two years seems too long and one year seems too short, but it does not have to be any exact amount of time.) [LOL, I thought you knew Moore's rule...]

  * P69, capturing someone's attention or imagination in a minute can be done, but only when planned and tailored to that individual. [good point on do not seek general guidance but discuss specific opportunities that other people could offer]

  * P79, ...the most extraordinary thinkers on leadership and management [! beginning to pay attention to these things]... effective communication starts with the understanding that there is my point of view (my truth) and someone else's point of view (his truth). [SO TRUE! Sometimes it's not that others want to lie to you. It's just that themselves believe in it. Work for discussion, instead of disagreement. Always keep in mind what the purpose of the conversation is.]

  * P81, the strategy of soliciting input broadly...[Both Sheryl and Elon said this is important. I was bad at this. Beginning to learn it.]

  * P84, painful knowledge is so much greater than the downside of blissful ignorance [Again, feelings are not as important as what it really is.]

  * P88, motivation comes from working on things that we care about.

  * P91, leaders should strive for authenticity over perfection

  * P103, Accelerate. Keep a foot on the gas pedal until a decision must be made. That's the only way to ensure that when that day comes, there will be a real decision to make. [It is luxury to have the ability to make a choice.]

  * P104, in my family that it's hard to hold anyone's attention for too long. Labor was no exception to that rule. [Sheryl was talking about when she was giving birth and everyone kind of ignored her because it was taking too long. Typical Jewish people..., so funny.]

  * P108, mental gatekeeping [Don't do it! My mom is really good at not doing this.]

  * P112, RICKETY BALANCE

  * P123, be a perfectionist in ONLY THE THINGS THAT MATTERED

  * P135, This is where my trust in hard data and research has helped me the most.

  * P156, We cannot change what we are unaware of, and once we are aware, we cannot help but change.

  * P157, LEADERSHIP IS ABOUT MAKING OTHERS BETTER AS A RESULT OF YOUR PRESENCE AND MAKING SURE THAT IMPACT LASTS IN YOUR ABSENCE.

  * P160, As individuals, we have relatively low levels of power. [希望22岁认识到这点还不算太晚]

  * P161, Women who want to take two weeks off... or two days... or two years... or twenty years deserve everyone's full support. [北大的兼容并包]

  * P167, But when I push past my own feelings of guild and insecurity, I feel grateful. [Always]

  * P169, conform to social norms

  * P178, "aha" moment

  * P179, I am indebted to [There are so many ways to express "Thank You"...]

  * P180, look hard at the data and speak the unvarnished truth

  《Lean In》读后感(二):What exactly is Lean In in this book?

  The book is named as "Lean In". What exactly is its meaning in this book? What exactly can we "lean in" with/for/to from individual perspective?

  I concluded 6 Lean-Ins as my take-away and here they are: (I was not trying to include every points that Sheryl talked.)

  1. Wherever in work or life, even under the inferior circumstances, lean in means take actions with a simple question to ask: What would I do if I weren't afraid?

  We all have our thoughts, our opinions. However the current inferior business status keeps us silent in work place. So Sheryl encourages us not to settle, and ask ourselves “What would you do if you weren't afraid?” Speak out confidently? Arrange a meeting to supervisor about the current dilemma? Take the leadership? Take the courage to think about the question first.

  For me, it’s a very useful question for all scenarios:imagine what if I am not afraid, what will be my action? It can set up an anticipating situation for me to achieve and become. The gap between what once imagined and the reality will be shortened by the efforts.

  2. Lean in in the attitude towards self.

  quot;Feel confident in self. Even hard, Fake it till you feel it."

  Why this topic has been brought up? The reality is like the following between the two genders.

  Ask a man to explain his success and he will typically credit his own innate qualities and skills. Ask a woman the same question and she will attribute her success to external factors, insisting she did well because she worked really hard, or got lucky, or had help from others. Men and women also differ when it comes to explaining failure. When a man fails, he points to factors like didn't study enough, or not interested in the subject matter. When a woman fails, she is more likely to believe it is due to an inherent lack of ability.

  And in the situations where a man and a woman each receive negative feedback, the woman’s self-confidence and self-esteem drop to a much greater degree. The internalization of failure and the insecurity it breeds hurt the future performance, so this pattern has serious long-term consequences. So stop it, blame self not has the ability to do something. We are encouraged to believe in our inner capacity to achieve the success. How we see ourselves means everything.

  Feeling confident- or pretending that you feel confident- is necessary to reach for opportunities. It’s a cliche, but opportunities are rarely offered; they are seized.

  ***Research back up this “fake it till you feel it” strategy. Once study found that when people assumed a high-power pose(for example, taking up space by spreading their limbs)for just two minutes, their dominance hormone levels(testosterone) went up and their stress hormone levels( cortisol) went down. As a result, they felt more powerful and in charge and showed a great tolerance for risk. A simple change in posture lead to a significant change in attitude.

  (More at: Power posing: Brief nonverbal displays affect neuro-endocrine levels and risk tolerance.)

  3. Lean in -- in negotiation:

  Few tips for women in negotiation.

  -Use I instead of we in negotiation.

  -Justify our request by suggest that someone more senior encouraged the negotiation. (My manager suggested I talk with you about my compensation.) or to cite industry standards(My understanding is that jobs that involve this level of responsibility are compensated in this range).

  -Adjust the approach and assert the stand. Women must come across as being nice, concerned about others, and appropriately female. When women take a more instrumental approach (This is what I want and deserve), people react far more negatively. So negotiate with being nice. It helps.

  4. Lean in---in accepting criticism.

  Withstand criticism is a necessity for women. We should let ourselves react emotionally and feel whatever anger or sadness being criticized evokes for us. And then we should quickly move on. Act like a child. A child can cry one moment and run off to play the next. Feeling upset, really upset, and then move on.

  5. Lean in -- for picking a job: Woman need to be more open to take risks in their careers.

  *Criteria by Eric Schmidt: Fast growth. Find a rocket ship. The company grows quickly and you grow as well.

  Dare to start at the ground level if the next opp. Is desired. Too many people miss out on great opportunities by focusing too much on career levels. Lean in, move forward if the other path make you happier and has chance to learn new skills.

  Don't worry about too much about whether they have the skills they need for a new role.Abilities can be acquired on the job. No one is capable until he does it.

  tory: Sheryl’s first day work at the world bank, she was lost on performing some calculations.Her boss was very surprised:” WOW, I cannot believe you've gotten this far, or even how you can understand basic economics, without knowing how to use Lotus.” She said to his boss she couldn't and thought in this situation, she would be fired. However next day, his boss taught her how to use the program.

  o taking risks, choosing growth, challenging ourselves, and asking for promotions (with smiles on our faces, of course) are all important elements of managing a career.

  6. Lean in -- finding a mentor.

  Don't find, excel and they will find you. And remember mentorship is a win-win situation, you cannot only take while not giving.

  earching for a mentor has become the professional equivalent of waiting for Prince Charming.

  Excel and you will get a mentor. Intuitively, people invest in those who stand out for their talent or who really benefit from help. Mentors continue to invest when mentees use their time well and are truly open to feedback.

  Mentors receives benefits too, including useful information, greater commitment and a sense of fulfillment and pride.

  **How to be a good mentee?

  Few mentors have time for excessive hand-holding. Most are dealing with their own high-stress jobs. A mentee who is positive and prepared can be a bright spot in a day.

  Other quotes and stories worth a note:

  1. The ability to learn is the most important quality a leader can have.

  2. Employees who concentrate on results and impact are most valuable.

  3. The most common way people give up their power is by thinking they don't have any.

  4. Emotion drives both men and women and influences every decision we make.

  5. Done is better than perfect.

  6. Just doing the best you can with what you’ve got.

  A story:

  Lori Goleris is a candidate for facebook. When she was contacting Sheryl for the job in Facebook,Instead of telling you all of the things that she's good at and all of the things I like to do,she asked:

  What is your biggest problem and how can I solve it?

  And she got the job.

  《Lean In》读后感(三):与“百姓无栗米充饥,何不食肉糜?”异曲同工

  一本女性职场的心灵鸡汤,当然男女不平等就成了不可避免的话题。

  作为一个在中美日都工作过几年的女性,我觉得其实美国在此问题上已经相对很好,女性大都很独立,经济上和精神上都 挺“女汉子”。中国也很不错,越来越向美国趋势发展。最糟糕的是日本,看似谦恭礼貌的公司文化里对女性的期待值很低,基本处于秘书,助理的地位。即使有非常出类拔萃的女性身居要职,也是顶着巨大的社会压力而上的吧。我毕业后入职其三大银行之一的总部工作,部门里都是海龟,所以氛围应该现代化的,但可惜大多数男同事对女同事的观察点还是停留在外表上,而非工作能力。印象深刻的是一天早晨,出门匆忙,忘了化妆了,刚到公司立即有男同事文雅而委婉地指出“徐桑,你今天看上去有点黑啊。”……

  当然,美国也只是相对很好而已,天下怎么可能有绝对的平等呢?Sandberg指出现状,比如女性更容易被性别角色自我束缚,应该“sit at the table"; 比如不应该为了几年后的生儿育女问题而限制了职业发展,应该"Don't leave before you leave"; 在育儿方面,不应该总靠自己,应该和丈夫分担责任,要” Make your partner a real partner” 等.....我很赞同她的绝大多数观点,这些也都是将来我女儿长大后我要亲口告诉她的,就像我也会告诉她要与人为善,相信世界的美好.....

  可是,同时我也明白理想与现实的区别。Sandberg本身经历非凡,哈佛本科,哈佛MBA,一直成绩优异,毕业后在世界银行工作,美国财政部,麦肯锡,然后又成功在Google里找到一席之地,直到跳到Facebook里当COO。这样的经历,多少人能拥有?所有她有足够的资本和勇气lean in, 所以她能在很多不平的场合说No. 可是对于绝大多数人,无论男女,机会来的时候只会拼命抓住,克服困难地说Yes. 绝大多数人也根本不会有机会可以sit at the table。

  每个人都会有相应的社会地位,我相信Sandberg诚实地从她的角度阐述了职业女性的问题,但由于其本身的视野所限,加上忽视了文化差异,所提的建议让我想起了中国晋惠帝的名言“百姓无栗米充饥,何不食肉糜?”

  《Lean In》读后感(四):女性与影响力

  最近各种加班与辛苦。但前两天一次加班,让我记忆深刻。一同事边吃加班餐边看新闻联播,无意间地说了句: “哦,(某国元首来华访问画面),怎么有个女的?大概是个翻译吧。 ” 知道他没有别的意思,但大概在多数国人心中,政界女强人的出现往往令人惊讶。这个事实,让人心痛又无奈。

  正如Sheryl在书中谈及的,更多的女士需要出现在政界、商界等更高的职位中,女性不应低估自己的力量,更不应放弃自己应当主张的权利。

  《Lean In》读后感(五):直男癌晚期对女权主义的看法

  首先我不认为Sheryl Sandberg是女权主义者,就好比我不认为Al Gore真的关心气候一样。

  但Sheryl是个聪明人,她已经拥有了足够分量的话语权,需要寻找切入点增加自己的影响力,换句话说,实现自我价值。

  于是为女性主张更多权力成了顺理成章。

  假设COO这个位置换成一个男性,那绝不可能获得如此高的关注。Facebook和Google这一类工程师文化的公司里,你以为COO有多重要有多不可替代嘛。就这点上来说,女性反而占了便宜

  我查了一下facebook的股权交易记录,情况是,Sheryl是所有股东里抛股票最频繁的,我不想说Sheryl工作就是为了钱(一定程度上所有人打工都是为了钱),但她对互联网的热情,对该事业的pure love,远远比不上她老板。这也是女性和男性在很多事物上最根本的差距。也许正是因为动机不纯,才适合COO这个职位,因为太纯粹就容易变得太不关心盈利,把公司交给Geek管理很容易被玩死。

  heryl是个非常优秀的女人,但她永远不能成为Mark Zuckerberg,而后者才是人类社会进步的源动力。如果她能上TED讲讲怎么做互联网,也许能得到我更多的尊重。但我一点都感觉不到她对互联网有多热爱。Just another job that pays well.

  heryl最后还是搬出了女权主义的那套同工不同酬的概念。但事实上女人真的在工作上付出了和男人同等的专注和努力吗?就平均来看,似乎女人对男人的关注远远超过了工作吧。

  这是自然界法则。女人必须在18-30花很多精力去寻找基因良好的配偶并结婚生子,来完成自己的生育价值。而同时期的男人可以完全不关注异性,对男人来说这方面没有deadline的概念。

  还有一点很重要,Sheryl有美女光环,如果没有这个恐怕连女性自己也不会买单吧——女性的颜值歧视比男性更严重。

  希望能看到无视自然界法则,完全出自自身热爱专注投身于从事领域的女性。

  《Lean In》读后感(六):老规矩,一节节来写读书笔记

  用边读边写的方式,花三个月读完了《The Millionaire Fastlane》,觉得这种读英文书的方式不错,于是把已经坑了大半年的《Lean In》找出来,用这种方式,看看能不能救她出坑。

  《TMF》是没有中文版,不得已读的英文版。而这本完全就是自己作,明明有中文版好伐!明明可以顺顺利利舒舒服服一两个月看完好伐!非要买本英文版,又贵,又搞得没看几页纸就入了坑。给自己立下规格,以后凡是有中文版的,一定不看英文版,翻译特别差的除外。

  ★第一章 男女有别?(2015.11.8)

  不可否认,社会从一个人出生开始,就有意无意地为人贴上性别标签。应该如何响应男婴or女婴;男孩就应该喜欢蜘蛛侠,而女孩就应该喜欢一屋子粉色;男人就应该有领导力赶出出头一点,而女人如此就是霸道蛮横。

  潘婷洗发水菲律宾广告ShineStrong,真是完美诠释了这个观点:

  http://v.youku.com/v_show/id_XNjUwODI0ODk2.html

  同样一件事情,对于男人和女人来说就是会有不同诠释:霸气、霸道;雄心,野心;无私工作,自私工作;注重仪容,流于表面;体面,炫耀。别让别人对你的看法遮挡你的光芒。

  女人到了要结婚的年龄,就开始凡事为“要结婚”这件事情考虑,可能会拒绝一个绝佳的进修机会,也可能会错过一个喜爱的工作邀约,就为了去创造环境以便于结婚,殊不知自己的人生不会也不可能完全依仗婚姻。

  性别歧视和种族歧视一样,或多或少地存在于职场之中。

  好消息是,有研究表明,事业和家庭兼顾的女性表现更好。分担账单和养育孩子的责任,会让婚姻更加坚固,孩子更加优秀。女性会有更多财务安全感,身体更加健康。

  恐惧是这所有的根源。恐惧自己不被喜欢,恐惧做出错误的选择,恐惧成为一个不称职的妻子/妈妈/女儿。

  本章我最喜欢的一句话:What would you do if you weren't afraid?

  写这本书就是Sheryl实践上面这句话所做的。

  ★第二章 坐到桌前(2015.11.15)

  为了准备每半个月一次的技术分享会,上个礼拜看了一周的技术白皮书,现在终于有点时间看书了,God bless。

  这章的名字来源于雪莉参加的一次研讨会,财政大臣也是与会者之一,他还带来了四名助手(女)。自助餐会的时候,雪莉发现这四名女同胞,不约而同地选择了不坐到桌前,而是坐在房间一侧的凳子上。雪莉热情地招呼她们坐过来,她们拒绝了。这事儿放到别人那,就算完了,而咱那个“爱多管闲事的”雪莉会后把她们喊到一起,明确指出了她们应该坐到桌前。四名女性助手一开始觉得很惊讶,进而表示了同意。——这!里!很!重!要!我们有时会无意识地做一些事情或坚持一些观念,而当有人当面给你指出,你有意识地想想那个做法或观念,会觉得完!全!荒!谬!所以,当面指出,很有必要。

  这件事情对于雪莉来说是一个分水岭。她意识到女性无意中在自身内部给自己设置了限制,她们会不自觉地退到一边,选择在一旁观看,而不是参与进去。

  冒名顶替综合症,男女皆有,意指认为自己获得的成绩多半是因为幸运,其实自己是不够格的。而女性的患病比率明显高于男性,也就是说很多女性都会低估自己的能力,对自己不够自信,对于取得的成绩太过谦虚,甚至认为是自己骗得的。而在传统的男性领域,女性更加容易低估自己。

  这可能是男女思维的差异:当男人失败了,他会指出事实“没有深入研究”“对着干领域真的不感兴趣”;当女人失败了,她会认为自己无能。当受到批评,女人的自信和自尊会遭受更多的挫折。

  怎么解决呢?在心里认为自己是够格的,如果做不到,那就先假装直到信为止!不要笑,感觉自信或者假装自信,是你抓住机遇的必要条件。雪莉认为太多职场女性在面对新的工作领域时,会选择不自信,会说“我不熟悉那个领域”,“我想我可能无法胜任”之类的,而男性员工在收到类似的工作指派时,会毫不犹豫接受(不管他之前是否有过相关经验),就这一点而言,男性职员更能抓住机会。而且女性职员比较会等着指示再去做事,而男性职员更加主动地去想自己需要做什么并做出来,这一点对于一个领导岗位非常重要。这里雪莉要给大家熬一点鸡汤了:不存在什么完美适合的机会,你不得不先接下这个机会并让它变得适合你,而不是面对机会的时候慌忙跑开。学习的能力是作为一个领导者最重要的品质。

  另外,此章最好玩的一句话。美国剧作家和演员,Tina Fey说过,冒名顶替综合症的魅力在于,你游弋在极大的自负和完全的自卑中(我是一个大骗子!),当自大出现时你试着享受它,然后就渐渐开始觉得自己是在骗人。说真的,我意识到绝大多数人都这样,所以,别太在意。

  ★第三章 成功和魅力(2015.11.16)

  对于男人来说,越成功越有魅力。而对于女人来说,似乎正好相反。如果女人表现出男性特质,就会招来负面评价。

  就连面试时,女性强调自己过去的辉煌,会降低成功的几率!——天呐!

  这种偏见,让女人不自觉地向后退,毕竟谁都想受欢迎啊!

  一个很好玩的例子:哈佛商学院的学科评分是平时表现和最终考试各占一半比率的。而雪莉那一年有七个福特奖学金获得者,除了她,都是男性。而她分析,这种结果多半是因为,教授们不得不依靠回忆课堂讨论来判定大家的表现分,而众所周知,男同学们通常会更加有表现欲望,课堂激辩被教授记住的可能性更高。职场,同理。

  如果人们想在组织内得到很好的发展,必要的条件是:有能力&受欢迎。而这一点对于女性来说真是进退两难:如果她们表现得有能力就会被讨厌,如果她们想受欢迎就得低调行事。

  在这种偏见之下,女性应该如何要求涨薪,要求合适权益呢?雪莉给出了折衷办法:(虽然她也很无奈,不想这样做,但是在情况未被改变的大环境中,只能暂时这样做了)

  1. 提要求的时候,说“我们”,而不要说“我”。我们去年取得了很好的成绩 vs 我去年取得了很好的成绩。

  2. 提示某个高层人士鼓励这场谈判。我的老板建议我来跟您谈一下薪水。

  3. 引入业界标准。这个层级的市场平均年薪是......

  除了上述三点,保持礼貌又坚持的态度,我们谈判是为了解决问题而不是为了搞对立,在应该晋升的时候主动争取更高的职位(当然,一定要面带微笑)。

  前几天在翠华和YQ午餐的时候,她说了一件事情,我觉得还蛮符合这章的道理的。她对新来的老板说,朋友问为什么不办日本五年多次签证,她都不好意思说,真的好可怜。老板问为什么,她说因为薪水不达标啊。真的是好巧妙,说话的艺术啊!

  如何对待批评。雪莉自己的感触,她觉得自己内心可以强大到不理会别人的批评,但其实她发现她做不到(谦虚又真诚!)既然批评不可少,而自己作为凡人必会在乎,那么就请容许自己做情绪化地反应吧,并且容许自己感到愤怒或者悲伤。

  马克扎克伯格在雪莉入职六个月之后的第一个正式检验的时候,对她说,如果你想着取悦每个人,那么永远没法进步。

  ★第四章 方格架,不是梯子(2015.11.17)——八年前看到这本书就好了。

  这一章开始让我觉得这是一本好书。重复一下我对好书的定义:能说出一直影响你内心的潜藏错误观念,让你觉得“哇哦,我平时竟然就是这样想的,虽然我并没有明确背后的潜意识是怎么样的。现在你说出来了,我可以正视它了”。

  平均每个美国人一生会换11个工作,工作越来越是爬方格架,而不是梯子了。梯子是直上直下一条道的,而方格架的选择更多。

  设立目标。针对这种情况,雪莉建议大家设立两个目标:一个长期目标,一个是为期18个月的短期目标。

  长期目标:可以是梦想之类的,甚至可以是不现实或者不具体的。类似于价值观之类的,比如想要造福人类、改变世界、创造未有之物等等。这种隐形的目标,会一直潜移默化地影响着你一个个具体的决定。

  短期目标:18个月,第一我能为公司做到什么,第二设置一些需要学习改善的个人目标。

  针对第二点,雪莉的心得是时常问自己有哪些地方是需要改进的,如果她害怕做一些事情,代表她不擅长或者太害怕而不敢去做。当然,过程肯定是辛苦的。——这里非常佩服雪莉的勇气和自我改进的决心。在这个过程中,不妨矫枉过正一点,因为这样有助于找到平衡。克服天生的倾向是非常困难的,雪莉一直都在努力。

  选择工作的标准。雪莉在财政部的任期满了之后,毅然决定顺应内心投身到硅谷,她非常乐观地给了自己4个月找到工作,而实际上她乐观了——她花了几乎一整年(从这段经历也可以看出雪莉是一个很乐于接受新环境,虽然前路曲折但选择乐观面对的人)。在这段找工作的期间,有开心的事情,她遇到了偶像时任eBay CEO的梅格惠特曼;也有不开心的事情,某高管面试的时候直言不讳“你的政府经历完全没有用,我不会考虑雇佣你这样的人”。雪莉很真实地还原了她当时的窘态“我本可以谢谢她的坦诚,然后潇洒的离开,这样多酷!可惜我没有那样做,我就那样坐在那里发窘,直到房间的氧气耗尽......”哈哈哈,雪莉就是这么可爱的人。

  在她犹豫是否要接受谷歌的offer时(横看竖看,按照MBA们的逻辑,谷歌的offer就不是一个传统意义上的好选择),当时谷歌的CEO施密特给了她人生中最好的职业建议:找工作唯一的标准是高速增长。如果你被邀请坐上火箭,不要犹豫,不要担心它去哪,坐上去就好。雪莉在之后也无数次把这个标准教给其他的人:衡量工作是否有高增长潜力。像谷歌处于互联网,本身就是一个高增长的行业;而对于一些传统行业,就要去找那些正在扩张的部门;而对于教育和医疗,就要去找他们最被需要的地域。雪莉的一个朋友,在律所工作了四年,想转行去做销售和市场。但是顾虑又要重头开始,这完全就是一种“倒退”,雪莉认为在人类长达30年的工作时间内,四年的“倒退”算不了什么,更何况新的工作角色能让她更加开心,且能让她从中学习成长,那么这种“倒退”就是一种“进步”。

  关于不确定性。需要把生活和工作分开来看,雪莉在生活中是非常讨厌不确定性的,她会执着于按照颜色排列衣柜,整理收纳文件等。但是她很明白,在工作中可不能这样子,在工作中需要敞开双臂拥抱不确定性。不确定性意味着风险,生活中你需要规避风险,统计数据表明,溺水的男性青少年人数远远大于女性青少年;但是工作中,规避风险只会带来成长停滞。安稳的代价是削弱成长的机会。如果八年前我就看到这本书,可能不会选择目前的工作。

  要等完全准备好吗?惠普有一项内部研究表明,女性只有在认为自己100%准备好了才会申请一个新工作角色,而男性通常在认为自己准备了60%的时候就申请了。女性需要改变思想,从“我还没有准备好”变成“我想要那个工作——我会边做边学的”

  皇冠综合症。通常女性会认为:只要我做得足够好,就会有人看到,然后给我带一顶皇冠。没错!我就是这么想的!而实际并非如此。如果别人没有注意到你杰出的工作,你有必要自我主张一下!

  美国作家Alice Walker说过:“人们放弃权力的最常见方式是认为自己没有权力。”

  谁会带着皇冠爬方格架呢?!不要顾虑太多!

  ★第五章 请问你能当我的mentor吗?(2015.11.18)

  现在很多年轻女性初入职场,认为最重要的事情是:找一个mentor指导自己,找一个高阶前辈利用影响力支持自己。这事儿就跟找童话里的白马王子一样,不!靠!谱!因为mentor不会就那样骑着白马来,然后你就得到解救了。而这种思维在初入职场的年轻男性里面,很少存在。男女差异哦。

  首先,经验丰富的前辈们,对不熟的人要求自己做mentor,感觉是非常不爽的。

  其次,前辈们更喜欢依据后辈的表现和潜力选择徒弟。不是说mentor不重要,而是你首先要自己变得重要,然后再找mentor,关系都是相互的。一味依赖的思维要不得。

  第三,准备好再发问。比如在面试之前做好准备工作极其重要,其实找mentor也一样,需要你明确知道自己要什么,而且不要问一些傻问题(比如随便谷歌一下就有答案的),浪费别人的时间。

  第四,教导后辈的欲望也是人类天性之一,所以别太紧张,而且如果有人热情的教导你的话,也不必觉得不可思议。

  第五,合理利用mentor时间。这么宝贵的时间,不要用来抱怨,mentor不是你的心理医师,没有义务解决你的情绪问题。最好带着问题去问,求助解决具体问题。

  第六,不怕露怯。很多女性在求助的时候会害羞,怕对方觉得自己太笨,踟躇不前。千万别这样,至少你开始解决问题了,总比害羞地在原地不动好。

  第七,找个男mentor会带来风言风语吗?目前的情况是,你找到一个男mentor的可能性大大高于女mentor,毕竟在工作环境中,男性管理者更多。但这种关系处理不好,确实会带来风言风语。那就不找mentor了吗?雪莉真相帝,这里又说了一句箴言“私人关系直接导致了工作指派和晋升”——美国也这样啊。那还是要找mentor啊!雪莉这里举了自己的一个例子,工作差旅中,因为时差,和男老板一起在他房间讨论问题到半夜三点,不得不惴惴不安地走出房间,赶紧溜回自己房间,生怕别人看见,如果是男老板和男下属就不存在这样的情况了。这里她倒没有给出什么解决办法,只是建议女性们,即便存在困难,也不要放弃mentor这件事。她指出很多公司有mentor文化,新入职员工会得到一名公司指派的mentor,这样对于女性来说很好的解决了这个问题。其实想想我也是这种公司文化的受益者,毕业一入职就被指派mentor,也是男性,很自然地帮我过度了一段学生到职场的时间,真是受益不少。希望有越来越多的公司,有类似地政策,对于女性来说这种政策更加有利。

  第八,其实你的同僚,甚至下属都可以做你的mentor,所以关键是你明确你想解决什么样的问题。

  ★第六章 真实表达观点和情感(2015.11.20)

  现在人们总是不自觉地隐藏自己,此举是为了自我保护。但是这种含蓄也导致了各种各样的问题。这让我联想到了最近看的美剧《摩登家庭》,几乎每集的梗都是都是一开始为了某件事情家人之间有难言之隐,然后闹出一堆尴尬笑话,最后双方坦诚,解决问题。

  在工作场合保持诚实更加困难,处于低位的人们更加倾向于保留意见,枪打出头鸟啊。

  对人发表意见的时候,永远以我开头,不要以你开头。比如“我感冒了你还分配我做我这么接触凉水的家务事”vs“你真是一点不体谅我”。

  别人对你毛病的坦诚相告,同样很重要。因为知道自己的问题在哪,是解决问题的第一步。要主动问别人对你的反馈,或者在做完一件事情之后,问别人我如何可以做得更好,虚心接受意见,即使真相很伤人。同时,请求建议有助于构建私人关系。当然你得摆明态度,你是希望得到建议的。

  表达情绪。有的时候在工作伙伴面前适当表达情绪,有助于构建更深的关系。这里有个误区,认为professional的意思就是公私分明,就事论事,其实不然。把整个自己(包含私人)带到工作才是正道。有研究表明,现在领导力的表现从有策略、表现力、分析力转变成:真实而并不完美的。对于女性来说,同情和敏感有助于她们成为更加自然的领导者。

  ★第七章 别在离场前心就离开了(2015.11.29)

  这个时代的年轻女性被问到选择家庭还是事业的时候,依然会有很大比例回答:家庭。这个无可厚非,但对于女性来说,不到事到临头别去计划太多。不要还没有男朋友,就计划着以后生孩子的事情,或者推掉喜欢的工作。

  有一个有趣的调查结论:收入两极的家庭中,妻子更加可能辞职做家庭主妇。低收入家庭是因为考虑到托儿费用大于妻子收入,高收入家庭是因为丈夫工作时间过长,虽然他们的太太也都是受过高等教育的,依然会选择全职在家。低收入家庭的太太做这种决定实在是有点短视,即使自己在外工作的工资可能都无法支付托儿费用,也不要只看眼前,坚持工作,积累经验,以后太太的眼界和收入会逐渐增加。离开孩子去工作,对于每个母亲来说都是不容易的,所以做一份有挑战有回报的工作才值得。

  ★第八章 真正的伴侣从平担家务开始(2015.11.30)

  一句话:让男人承担相同的家务,包括养育孩子。

  虽说养育孩子是女人天性,但也不能因此就免去男性的育儿工作。我们在身体囤积脂肪以防饥荒也是一种天性,但是我们现代人还是会通过种种锻炼去抵抗这种天性,育儿也一样,需要我们制定计划,有意识地去规划它。

  不要越俎代庖。就算你的老公再笨手笨脚,也不要心急地否定他们,甚至代替他们去做。只要让他们去尝试,用自己的方式学会换尿布。一定要忍住圣母情怀。

  对于女性来说,最重要的决定就是:是否需要一个伴侣,这个伴侣是谁。

  世界五百强有28个女CEO,她们绝大多数已婚,她们很多人说,如果没有老公的支持就不会有今天的成功。

  你需要找一个同意共同承担的伴侣,他要认为女性是聪明,坚持,富有抱负的,他要愿意(甚至是主动)去承担家务,他信任你。——这样的男人是最性感的。

  你可以在约会的时候设置一些考验来筛选你想要的伴侣,哈哈哈!某女性高管的方法。第一次约会估计说因为工作而取消,如果他理解并且简单地重新安排时间,那么通过。想要进一步确立关系的时候,邀请他去你需要加班的地方过周末,如果他乐意围绕着你安排你们的时间,那么通过。

  刚开始约会的时候就要克服圣母光环。

  女人总是不自觉地在罗曼史一开始的时候,就展示自己的女性温柔——主动做家务,照顾对方。但是,如果你想要在以后的关系里实现家务共担的话,那么就不要在一开始就造次。一段关系如果在初始就是平衡的,那么它在以后平衡的可能性更大。所以,别装!克服一下!不然受害者是你!不公平的婚姻是不会幸福的。有研究表面,如果女人能赚到和老公一样的工资,老公能做和妻子一样份量的家务,这样的婚姻稳定性更高。

  婚姻内的家务分配模式更能影响到下一代。

  夫妻共同分担家务的家庭,更加能养育出骨子里就认为家务应该共担的男孩子。

  ★第九章 别要求事事都做到(2015.12.1)

  女性同时追求事业和家庭,是一个高尚且可达的目标。需要目标远大的同时认识到自己毕竟是凡人。凡人没法拥有一切,也没法做到所有事情。完美绝对是你的敌人,塑造一个事事完美的女性形象绝对是女性解放运动的绊脚石。

  既然事情那么多,如何做呢?威尔康奈尔医学院的女院长认为,有意识地选择何处安放注意力,是她追求事业的同时养育孩子的关键:我不得不去决定哪件事情重要,哪件事情不那么重要,并且学着只对最重要的事情行使完美主义。你要学着在不那么重要的事情上强迫性分神。——对我来说这个建议太重要了,好吗!

  然后雪莉举了自己的例子,她觉得孩子健康快乐成长是最重要的,至于忘记给孩子在圣帕特里克穿绿衣服,没什么啦

  完美主义者要对自己说:完成好过完美!

  一般来说善于规划的人比较难以接受混乱,而孩子的到来,混乱是不可避免的,所以请接受生活中有混乱。

  完美主义者在情况稍不如自己意想的时候,更加容易自暴自弃,产生挫败感甚至变得麻木。预期很高,达不到就接受不了。别把所有的事情要要求那么高,拥抱混乱和复杂吧,她们不一定是你生活中的敌人。——YQ这一点就做得很好,被老板逼数,受代理商刁难,这些都无法长久影响她的心情,她可以随即找个咖啡店坐坐或者买买衣服,心情就明亮了。没什么大不了的,混乱和复杂是生活常态。

  生活和工作互相扶持和影响。

  麦肯锡的一位高管发现,大多数辞职的员工都是在工作中把自己逼得不行了,超时加班,一次年假都不休,然后忽然一天厌倦了这一切,产生离开的想法。他表示,公司肯定会不断要求你加码工作,但是要做到什么程度取决于你,有意识地合理安排工作和生活的时间,对于职业非常重要。你要工作,同样也要生活,缺乏其中一个会伤害到另一个。当然,有一个明白这个道理的领导,最好不过了,可遇不可求啊!给自己立一些规矩,比如隔一段时间一定要去哪里度个假,每天都享受一个香喷喷的热水浴,每隔几天去最喜欢的咖啡店喝一杯咖啡,每天看一段喜欢的日剧/书。

  和负罪感共存。

  相比男人,女人更加容易有负罪感。

  不要被内心的不安全感逼迫只选择工作而不选择生活。有意识地找出最重要的工作,集中精力做那件事,会更加高效。真的有事情来了,也要有选择性高效地加班。雪莉很幽默地表示,虽然她身体每个好强的细胞都在喊着回去工作,她还是毅然决然地走出了办公室回家和孩子们一起晚餐。

  一个很能说明问题的调查结论。妈妈的无间陪伴并不会给孩子的成长带来额外的好处。驻家妈妈和工作妈妈的小孩,在各个方面都没有什么差别。而你是一个身心健康的妈妈,你有一个健康的家庭,对于孩子的成长来说才意义重大。所以,妈妈们如果选择出去工作,不必有负罪感,孩子不会因此而成长受限。相反,妈妈的眼界,妈妈的社交圈子,如果正面的话,会给孩子带来积极影响。

  当然,雪莉对大家讲出平衡工作和生活于她也是困难的,这对于大家来说很有意义。比如她带孩子和一群高管一起坐ebay商务飞机的时候发现女儿头发长了虱子......哈哈哈,我想说她真是太坦诚了。

  一个真正的伴侣能让你的职业追求成真。

  从雪莉的例子来看,如果没有她丈夫的支持,她没法做到今天的职位,可能她被迫会选择安稳的工作。伴侣能做到这点真的很难。只能说明她是一个幸运和有眼光的人。她丈夫后来的意外,真心遗憾。

  以后不要问自己“我能事事都做到吗?”,要问自己“我能做对于我来说最重要的事情吗?”

  ★第十章 别假装问题不存在,让我们谈论它(2015.12.5)

  现代社会里,女权主义者成了一个女性避之不及的称号,可笑的是,背后的心理原因有一点是女性怕因此得不到男性的眷顾。职场主体文化是男性主导的,女性不得不“融入文化”——参加男性特质的社交活动,抽雪茄,看球,钓鱼之类的。有的时候评价一个人,不是因为他的业绩如何,而是看他是否可以和大家打成一片。

  即便如此,也不要因为害怕独树一帜而避免提出问题,因为女性被歧视这个问题确实存在。

  不仅有些女性主动反映这样的问题,有些男性也细心地观察到了这个问题,并且做出反应。美国霍普金斯大学医学院的Probasco教授发现,比起男学生,女学生在课堂上举手显得更加难为情一些。他立即改变了回答问题的模式,变成间隔地选男女同学回答问题,随即他便意识到:女同学和男同学一样知晓答案,甚至表现更好。

  当然也存在有一些男性是隐形性别歧视的。有调查表明,老婆是全职太太的男性会比较歧视女性,只不过来得更加隐蔽,表面也显得更加温和一些。他们认为天性使然,女性更加适合在家抚育孩子而不是在职场奋斗。这种隐性的性别歧视在很多男性脑子里存在。

  拜登副总统邀请辛西娅出任白宫首席法律顾问的时候,她已经全职在家有12个年头了。她直率地向两个男人提出了问题。对她老公“你以后可以负担更多家务吗?”,对拜登“我可以每天回家陪孩子晚餐吗?”,她获得了两个肯定的回答,然后出任。这个故事告诉我们,不要害怕提要求,不要让机会流失。

  最后这个很有意义的实践数据,很有启发。哈佛商学院发现他们的美国男学生成绩比女学生和国际学生明显要高。认识到这个问题之后,为了消除这种成绩差别,他们积极地推行了改进措施。他们对院内所有学生宣传新的“领导力”定义:领导力在于你的存在能够让其他人变得更好,即使你不在的时候,这种影响力依然存在。两年之后,这种成绩差别消失了,更神奇的是,所有学生,包括美国男学生,的满意度都提高了。可见,创建一个公平的环境,对于所有人都有好处。

  ★第十一章 女性和男性要一起来促进性别平等(2015.12.6)

  对于女性和男性来说,比起故意去忽略我们的不同,不如接受它并且超越它。

  而对于女性来说,更应该互相体谅,而不是互相打击。

  女性领导人由于数量稀少,很容易被当成范本来检视,加上人们普遍不喜欢女性领导人,于是对她们的检视更加苛刻。这是不公平的。

  女性之间的争论更是如此,不是说不要争辩,而是说要更加建设性的辩论,不要简单的互相诋毁,这是双输的。

  有的女性领导人,思想老旧,男权主义烙印深刻,内化女性低人一等的偏见,认为和男性合作能提高自己的价值,像“蜂皇”一样,视其他女性为对手,阻碍她们的成长。

  由于上述原因,内化的贬低自己性别,女性职员也可能更加容易贬低同性同事。

  还有是否外出工作,妈妈们也长期在互相打仗,全职在家还是出门工作,水火不容。这多半是由于负罪感和不安全感,感到被对方的选择所威胁。所以,不要因为自己内心的恐惧,而Judge对方的选择,女人们。另外,社会也不要给一些事务设定标准,例如就应该是妈妈去学校接送孩子等。

  最后一段很感动,雪莉写本书的目的。希望她的孩子们能够选择自己想要的,而不受外部和内部偏见的阻挡。如果她的儿子想照顾家庭,能够得到尊重和支持。如果她的女儿想要争取事业,不仅能够得到尊重和支持,并且她的成就能够被认可。希望他们获得选择的自由,在自己热爱的领域里lean in。

  完结撒花!(2015.12.6 寒冷的周日下午,开着暖黄的床头灯,听着我最爱的虾米精选集“何以解忧,唯此静心”,腿窝在被子里,敲下完结语。很高兴这本书读完了,耗时,额,N个月,哈哈哈。去年五月份买了之后,看了半章变成坑。今年在看《The Millionaire Fastlane》养成了读英文书的惯性,看完那本之后,又重新拿起这本书,历时 一个月时间看完了,感谢翻译笔,感谢85度C,感谢一颗柠檬,感谢自己。)

  《Lean In》读后感(七):向前一步,海阔天空

  只想说 lean in 的注释实在太长了[捂脸] 断断续续看,让我换换脑子[捂脸]

  的确是好书,很真实真诚,从生活中常见的现象中探讨男女差异、女性求学、职业、婚姻生活中的角色以及不同年龄层的变化。比较好很重要的一个视点是把男性纳入“真正平等”这个事业中,印象比较深的还有阐述女性leader选择fit in 男性管理群里而不是帮助此后的女性职场人以及不同目标的追求女性之间的对话冲突。还有一句,大概意思是有一天我们感到没有female leadership 只有leadership,对于掌权的女性感到理所应当、不需大惊小怪或者特殊案例的时候可能就是真正平等。作者有表达过病不强迫或否定选择以家庭为主的女性群体的合理性,只是要实现整体上的平等的确需要越来越大掌权的女性,女性之间的互相帮助和更多贡献于家庭的男性。浅显易懂的道理基于较多丰厚的文献于研究取材还有坦诚的真实案例。其实几乎所有比较精彩的作品尤其是带有一定实用研究性的书都基于作者拥有的辩证分析的思维,会整体的、多面性看到一个话题构建比较开阔、不“就事论事”对思维框架啊。

狗尾续貂地随便记录一番,好记性不如烂笔头啊

  《Lean In》读后感(八):当我们在说feminist的时候

  事实证明,不要在读完一本书之前就匆匆下决定(当然,实在读不下去的另当别论!)

  刚看前面的时候,多看到的是Sandberg本人超出普通女性的IQ、EQ、良好的家庭环境、教育背景以及运气,所以觉得这本书的普世性太差。立起一个女性导师模范,漂亮又能干,还有个事业有成、支持自己的老公,只不过是再一次给广大女性提供了自我YY的机会。但往后看,发现作者点出了很多重要问题,有些是我想过,但不知道如何表达出来的观点;有些是我忽略了,看书感觉“恍然大悟”的观点。

  总体来说,书中提供的数据都非常有价值,有意思(Sigh,普通女性哪里有资源拿到这么多有意义的数据啊)。摘录了一些句段,相应写一些自己的感受

  1. a truly equal world would be one where women ran half our countries and companies and men ran half our homes.

  我以前觉得“性别平等”说的就是要为女性在职场上提供与男性平等的机会,这本书告诉我很重要的一点是,平等不光意味着女性在职场上的机会均等,同样包括男性在家庭事务中的平等(这有两个涵义,一是男性需要更多承担家庭事务,并不一定要是50/50的比例,但至少需要主动去承担部分责任;另一方面,女性要赞同男性在家庭事务中的角色,更多时候是我们自己觉得男性无法打扫干净屋子,无法带好孩子,我们应当给于男性充分的尊重与认可)

  2. we hold ourselves back in ways both big and small, by lacking self-confidence, by not raising our hands, and by pulling back when we should be leaning in.

  3. from a very early age......when girls call out, teachers often scold them for breaking the rules and remind them to raise their hands if they want to speak.

  【深有体会】小学时候我就属于很活泼好动的女生,喜欢插嘴说话、抢着回答问题。班主任在我成绩报告单上评语栏里面写的一句话,我至今印象非常深刻!“希望下次上课回答问题之前先举手”,其实班上也有好几个男生抢着回答问题,大人们对他们的评价通常都是“很调皮,但是男生调皮一点儿好”,作为女生的我会被认为有些“泼”,不够稳重淑女;或许老师的意思是我应该更加尊重课堂纪律,但不可否认,大部人人还是认为女生应该“淑女”,我觉得这件事情并没有给我带来什么阴影,但这句话十几年后还如昨天看到一般,想必还是在我心里留下了一定影响。

  4. when a man is successful, he is liked by both men and women. when a woman is successful, people of both genders like her less.

  说的非常对,男性的成功会让他招来各种喜欢,女性的成功往往会被身边人排斥;有时候不一定是排斥,但面对同样成功的两人,我们对男性第一反应通常都是赞同,但对女性,我们会想到她是不是单身等一系列问题

  5. women must come across as being nice, concerned about others, and "appropriately" female

  作为女性,我们总是不自觉地把自己约束在一个框架里面,跟所有人一样,我们总认为自己应该“善良、关心他人,行为举止合乎社会标准”,这些是没错的,但问题的关键在于,我们用这些内容束缚了自我的前进,在试图向前一步的时候,会被这些考虑所羁绊,简单来说,就是“自己先吓唬自己”

  6. when companies grow quickly, there are more things to do than there are people to do them. when companies grow more slowly or stop growing, there is less to do and too many people to not be doing them.

  7. figure out what I wanted to do before I went to see the people who had the ability to hire me

  求职之前,想明白公司缺少什么养的人才,自己能给公司带来何种好处。而不是单纯向HR推荐自己的优点,让HR给自己安排工作。

  8. but the upside of painful knowledge is so much greater than the downside of blissful ignorance

  9. right before having a child can actually be a great time to take a new job. If she found her new role challenging and rewarding, she'd be more excited to return to it after giving birth. if she stayed put, she might decide that her job was not worth the sacrifice

  这是我很怀疑的一点。作者的逻辑没错:很多女性因为担心要生育,而在怀孕前一段时间放弃承担更多更挑战性的工作,但如果她们在生孩子之前主动接受一份责任更重大的工作,那在生育之后会更愿意返回到工作岗位上来。但是,我真的怀疑怀孕了工作效率不会下降吗?孕妇不应该多休息少对着电脑吗?

  10. "maternal gate keeping" a fancy term for "Oh my god, that's not the way you do it! just move aside and let me!" when it comes to children, fathers often take their cues from mothers. this gives a mother great power to encourage or impede the father's involvement.

  这一点说的非常有道理。女性以为男性在家务事方面天生就不能做的很好,于是对他们的尝试不屑一顾。我们不主动欢迎他们参与进来,反而打击对方积极性,最终结果是大部分家务活都落在了自己身上!

  11. we cannot change what we are unaware of, and once we are aware, we cannot help but change

  12. leadership is about making others better as a result of your presence and making sure that impact lasts in your absence.

  这是对领导力的一种很好解读吧。其实面试过这么多次,每次被要求举例说明自己的leadership时候,我也搞不懂到底何种例子是最合适的。无非就是自己带领一帮人做了个活动之类的,但是that impact lasts in your absence或许更加重要吧

  13. a feminist is someone who believes in social, political and economic equality of the sexes

  这个概念给的太宽泛了,或许就是因为太过于宽泛,才容易被更多人接受吧?我还是希望能有更精确一点儿的概念描述

  14. until women have supportive employers and colleagues as well as partners who share family responsibilities, they don't have real choice. and until men are fully respected for contributing inside the home, they don't have real choice either.

  女性在职场得到尊重,男性在家庭事务中得到尊重,都是不可或缺的

  15. we all want the same thing: to feel comfortable with our choices and to feel validated by those around us.

  这部分给我的感触还是非常深刻的。很多时候,我们在做选择之前,会考虑太多的东西,有些根本就是杞人忧天,庸人自扰之的想法。同时,在做了选择之后,我们又会为此很不舒服。要坦然面对自己的选择,也要学会支持别人的选择,不要做太多指手画脚的事情

  +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

  这本书讲的是女性平等,但我觉得最有价值的部分是说清楚了男性在家庭事务中同样需要平等(我相信大部分同龄男性还是希望这种平等存在的),这是女性职场平等的一个前提。回想一下,我自己之前对这些概念还是存在一些偏见的。

  《Lean In》读后感(九):Lean in 读书笔记

  53

  quot;A child can cry one moment and run off to play the next"

  That's something we should also learn from kids.It's time for me to forgive the mistakes dads made.

  55

  quot;One of the things he told me was that my desire to be liked by everyone would hold me back.He said that when you want to change things,you can't please everyone.If you do please everyone,you aren't making enough progress."

  i like this chapter---"it's a jungle gym,not a ladder" as this metaphor is surprising.

  57

  quot;There's only one way to get to the top of a ladder,but there are manys to get to the top of a jungle gym"

  quot;..careers do not need to be mapped out from the start.

  quot;I never thought about waht i wanted to be,but i thought a lot about what i wanted to do."

  quot;letting the other side make the first offer is often crucial to achieving favorable terms."

  I always do this so when i saw this comparison,i smiled."SEEK AND SPEAK YOUR TRUTH"

  84

  quot;Compare these two statements:You never take my suggestions seriously. and i feel frustrated that you have nto responded to my last four emails,which leads me to believe that my suggestions are not that important to you. Is that so?"

  89

  quot;Thanks,but you must have ideas for me on what more i could have done.""How i can do better""What am i doing that i don't know?""What am i doing that i don't see?"

  quot;I have also learned the hard way that being open to hearing the truth means taking responsibility for mistakes."

  90

  At work,"...by asking what i could do to help them achieve thei goals"

  92

  quot;When people are open and honest,thanking them publicly encourages them to continue while sendinga powerful signals others. "

  quot;Humor can be an amazing tool for delivering an honest message in a good-natured way."

  94

  quot;Sharing emotions builds deeper relationships.Motivation comes from working on things we care about.It aslo comes from working with people we care about."

  omething about partner....I think it's beneficial too

  quot;..if he gets up to deal with the diaper before being asked,she should smile even if he puts that diaper on the baby's head."

  quot;There were many times when our daughter was more easily consoled by me...It's really hard to listen to your baby cry while your struggling husband with no breasted tries deperately and sometimes awkwardly to comfort her.David was insistent that rather than handing the baby to me when she was cryinh,we allow him to comfort her even if it took longer.It was harder in ther short run,but it absoluterly paid off when our daughter learned that Daddy could take care of her as well as Mommy."

  123

  quot;When looking for a life partner,my advice to women is date all of them:the bad boys,the cool boys,the commitment-phobic boys,the crazy boys.But do not marry them.The things that make the bad boys sexy do not make them good husbands.When it comes time to settle down,find someone who wants equal partner.Someone who thinks women should be smart,opinionated,and ambitious.Someone who value fanirness and expect or,even better,wants to do his share in the home."

  A small conversation touches my heart....

  126

  quot;Also,most employed fathers interact with other grownn-ups all day,while mothers at home are often starved for adult conversation by evening.I know a woman who gave up a career....and always insisted that when her husband got home from work,he asked her,"How was your day?before he launched into an account of his own."

  quot;More women lean in to thier careers,more men need to lean in to their families....We need more men to sit at the table...the kitchen table."

  167

  quot;Leadership is about making others better as a result of your presence and making sure that impact lasts in your absence."

  168

  quot;A feminist is someone who believes in social,political,and economic equality of the sexes."

  《Lean In》读后感(十):最大的几点感想&例子

  1.敢于选择自己的职业道路

  2.在职场上勇于说出自己的想法,为自己争取机会

  3.不要有太多顾虑(结婚啦,生小孩啦)

  印象比较深的例子

  1.男人和女人对待成功和失败归功的原因不同(男人明显更有自信)

  举例子:自己小两岁的弟弟的故事。一起准备考试,小弟复习得不如她(和她的室友),但是从考场出来很自信的说自己会拿A。不是弟弟太自信,而是女人买太没有安全感。

  2.同样是取消了date, 她和弟弟David的表现不同。她在家里做家务一整天,觉得是不是我哪里做错了。但是她弟弟一笑而过。觉得是姑娘们损失了好机会(超级机车有没有==|||)

  3.女性会申请她们100%符合条件的职位,但是男性如果符合60%就会去申请。

  4.当她为职业选择犹豫时,她的导师Eric告诉她:

  quot;If you're offered a seat on a rocket ship, you don't ask what seat. You just get on."(有个坐火箭的机会,你别问是哪个座位,先坐上去再说!)超级喜欢这句话!

  5.在寻求mentor帮助之前自己先做足功课,让他觉得你是值得帮的。人们总是喜欢投资在那些有希望的人身上。

  Intuitively, people invest in those who stand out for their talent or who can really benefit from help. Mentors continue to invest when menthes use their time well and are truly open to feedback.

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